Look now... it's a new century etc! Life cannot be that cruel, especially if you belong to an old aristocratic european family; because we all know that aristocracy is something almost strictly european! You can't find it anywhere else! africa? no! asia? yes OK, there are some really old families there; I've once met a japanese prince; he was an artist and you won't believe what he was doing! he was photographing barbies and Kens after he did some meddling on them! he'd make leather underwear or even put plastic genitals on them and then put them in a room he'd make, like a model you know, arranged them in total s&m positions and would protograph them! then he'd enlarge these photos in poster dimensions and exhibit them! they were really shocking, I'm telling you! back to the aristocracy thingy. America? No! No way! there's no such thing as an american aristocrat! even though I've heard these rumours about american commoners buying english titles! hah! or double 'heh' as someone we all love and respect in this list would say! too bad she's not here anymore to hundred-double 'heh'! I'm sure I'd go in her black list of 'the ones who despise the land of the free and the brave' and if I was lucky I'd go away with an accussation of being a man who had a hard on for her since I'd first read her sparkling fits of intellectualism pseudo-snobbism feministic pestiforous crap! Oh I do definitely have a hard-on for that little vipee! a hard-on indeed! Americans are good in other novelties too! like they are really good in voting! they are so good at that! but of course! america is the cradle of democracy! but anyway, what do I care? the self-appointed thingy though is quite a trademark isn't it? I mean americans tend to self-appoint themselves in various positions! oh we have self-appointed planetmasters, self-appointed peacemakers, self-appointed whatever! and of course the list wouldn't escape the "self-appointed" curse! And don't get me wrong! I have nothing against americans, not on a personal level! no! There are people in here whose posts I love to read; and they are americans! I mean, after all, America gave us a Donna Karan and a Calvin Klein! OK, for the more upper-middle-class fashion victims! Why am I writting all this, you'll ask me! After all, I'm the most apolitical being on earth! I don't give a poo about politics or americans or anything as long as my wallet's full with credit cards I can use to buy all my favourite Gucci accesoires and Miu Miu and Chalayan outfits! so now, after this 'so much unlike me' intro, we're entering the most entertaining, most spicy part of my story! You see, I was in Switzerland for christmas and new year's! swinging around in balls and coctail parties! That's where I met him! an american playboy! member of the jet-set! not the european one! a jet-set-junta or a jet-set-bubba, thing is, he was stalking me like noone else before him! His father owned this telecommunications company, I can't remember the name now and he was living in Philadelphia! what the hell was he doing in Switzerland? What have I done to deserve such a destiny, I kept asking myself, re-running my life just like on a VCR, forwarding some scenes, re-playing some others, stopping with awe on others... nothing to deserve John Francis Kendall! He was one of these men who are so confident for themselves that it ends up to be a blasphemy! his ways were so pediculous, so rude! Needless to say he was such a nummamorous bastard! we first made his aquaintance whilst we were shopping at this very exquisite lingerie shop in Davos, me and Violette... Big aunt Myrtles and Theodor were having a cup of tea at a nearby caf�... Violette and I were completely amazed by this little miu miu set of a pink camisole and matching pink knickers! I had just decided I'd let Violette have the set as I had a similar one in champagne colour, when this man burged in and said - quite loudly - "excusez moi! parlez vous anglais?, in the most horrid american accent! Oh, cover your ears Flaubert, cover your eyes Balzac!! we turned and nodded 'yes' then went back to our shopping! To cut a long story short he introduced himself and said that he knew us; he'd seen us at sir Whoorlthorp's party just the other night! and he knew our aunt! As a matter of fact he claimed that she'd sent him over to tell us that we had been late for lunch! next thing you know, he became such a leech it was unbelievable! He would escort us everywhere with Aunt Myrtles' blessings; you see, he was disgustingly rich! he would be as loud as he could as irritating as humanly possible! He would embarass us in every occasion! he was a Harvard graduate but there was nothing intelligent or refine about his ways! So, one night we were off to this ball! Violette and I were really thrilled about it! our best friend, Laeticia, was coming with us! Laeticia was the most angelic creature! she looks like Kate Moss, just her face does, thank God! cause you know, Kate Moss has a great face but her body... well, I suppose when she's having sex with men she must be always wondering whether she is the object of their lust or their little brother, if you know what I mean! even Theodor likes her body! that must mean something! But Lati is not like that! she has this long hair in a strange red colour and beautiful blue green eyes and has this body that could cause even an archibishop to sin! I was hoping that maybe John would fall for her! But no! He wanted me! So, Lati, Violette and I headed to the ball! we told John we were going by Lati's car and he insisted to come with us! we said no and he went with aunt Myrtles! Lati and I were wearing these long silk dresses that leave your whole back naked till down to the beggining of your bum... Violette was wearing a pink satin dress with a see-through shawl! Lati and I had no underwear on, of course... and John, he was always trying to touch my bare back!I hated his hands! he had fat fingers, and loads of hairs! disgusting! He wanted to dance with me and I said I wouldn't dance as I was really tired! but he wouldn't leave me alone and aunt Myrtles was insisting that I should dance with him! It was so terrible dancing with this American werewolf in Switzerland! With his lupiform hands on my back. Disgusting! I was living up to my name, and shivering constantly. But he seemed to believe that these shivers were from pleasure as he decided to lower his hands towards my bum. Now, I can't blame him. Men find my bum irresistible, it's perfectly shaped - someone once told me that it was just like a peach - and this dress clung to it so tightly, very revealing indeed! But please! It's the bum of an aristocrat, and as such it is exclusive property! I could see Lati and Violette giggling and I felt like dying, having his sweaty, greedy hands on my body! When the music stopped, I ran towards them really pissed off! then Lati said that we should send John - who was heading towards us with that horrible smile all over his face - to bring us some drinks and whilst he was away we'd ran away in Lati's car! Violette was objecting at first worrying about Aunt's wrath, but we talked her into it! So, we sent John for drinks and we escaped! We were driving and driving laughing and singing out loud "say my name say my name" when we saw this club! It's called "electraleen" and we saw a long queue of people waiting outside! we parked the car and went there! and of course we were let in at no time! they were playing Baxendale's "music for girls" as we walked in and with no further delay we headed to the dance floor! what a night!! we met some really interesting people that night! it seemed that the sons and daughters of all the rich and respected families who were spending their holidays in switzerland were there! And Violette was completely swooped by this guy, Gilbert was his name! I didn't like him, I thought there was some sort of pravity about him, and I was right.. but I'll tell you all about him in my next post as I have to leave now... we're participating in a tennis tournament at our club here in Prague and I have to make haste! talk to you soon! Pauline L. Shivers that makes sinister all quivers she's that aristocratic slag who lives and reigns in Prague PS: congratulations to Genevieve for yet another sparkling post indeed! __________________________________________________ Get personalized email addresses from Yahoo! Mail - only $35 a year! http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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