Ever feel that someone has fucked you up the arse without using any lubricants? Yes. Normally I'm not into this "blah blah My name's Elizabeth/My life is shit and piss blah blah", but let me introduce you to my past week. Ladies and gentlemen... 1) Went to a doctor. He gave me pills for my stomach. Stress-releted, he said. I knew it. Two weeks of medication. 2) Called this school. Didn't get in. I've been sweating in this shithole I call "office" for 3 fucking years now. After I finished high school, I've only been working in these shitplaces, getting salary that is next to nothing. Five years ago I dispised all those people who worked in an office and didn't get anywhere with their lives. Now I'm one of those people. 3) Fast forward two days. Got dumbed by my girlfriend. Textmessage. Beeb beeb said my cellphone. "You're right, I don't want to be with you anymore." One year, three months. You see that toilet? You see the times we've spent? Now watch: Swoooosh! Knock knock? Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Your life. Fuck off. 4) Went to a party on friday to get drunk and sober my thoughts (you know how it works, don't you?). Went for a smoke. Two people were lying in the staircase, the other one bleeding like hell. I ran upstairs, where this girl was trying to call the ambulance. I ran and ran and ran through the street, trying to find some sign where I could see which street we were on. Found it. The ambulance came. Only then I realized that the guy bleeding was this friend of a friend. The other one lying there motionless on the staircase was his brother. The next day I heard the brother was in the hospital and something was wrong with his neck. This is the final day: Today they are going to decide if he's going to live or not. 5) Heard my girlfriend spent her saturday (including the night) with this guy I never really rated but now just _utterly_ dispise. The arsefucker I mentioned you before, remember? Him. This is an oldie, but: Have you ever felt that you really, really _hate_ someone? Multiply it by five, and you might understand how I feel. God bless Steve Albini And Shellac and the brilliant album 1000 hurts for giving me a way to cope with my feelings: _________________________________________________________________________ To the one true god above here is my prayer Not the first you've heard But the first I wrote Not the first, but the others were a long time ago Him ,just fucking kill him I dont' care if it hurts Yes, i do I want it to Kill him, but first Make him cry like a woman No particular woman Let him hold out Hope that Someone or other might come And fucking kill him Fucking kill him Kill him alaeady, kill him Fucking kill him Kill him, already, kill him Fucking kill hims Fucking kill him Kill him, already, kill him _________________________________________________________________________ Fuck. That's psychotic, isn't it? But it helps me, to get my aggressions out just by listening something. It really does. Try it. Goddamn it's a beautiful day. -Love and other stuff that makes you feel funny in your tummy, Jake ps: Steven Kado, be back this week with the Helsinki- info. If you still want to hear from me, that is...=) pps: God I love her. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+