I know many of you are waiting with bated breath, or possibly some other kind of breath, for the new and undoubtedly wonderful edition of Trousercuts. As everyone knows, each issue features a Top Ten things of the past few months, and if you don't agree with at least three of them you are automatically removed from Sinister. Anyway, tired of waiting and bored generally, I shall now offer my own top ten of the year so far. So here, in my humble opinion and in no particular order, they are: 1. The Private Diaries of Zeppo Marx. These recently released diaries are quite beautifully written, and chart the career, private life and torment of one of the twentieth century's brightest stars. They also reveal the relationship of Zeppo to the other Marx brothers, and their unfortunate jealousy of his talents which threatened at times to tear the family apart. An extract follows: Jan 17, 1934. "Since Chico plays an Italian, I thought it would be real funny if I covered my face in boot polish and played a stupid African. However, the studio execs say they feel my talents would be better put to use in the role of the romantic lead. Those guys know squat about comedy." 2. The Second album by The Relaxation Effect, "The Windows Are The Eyes To The House." Ever since the release of their first album ("Postmodernism And Its Effect On The Elbows") early last year I have been wetting my pants in anticipation of this record. I have not been disappointed. Put simply, this is a quite stunning crystallization of their ethos ("To make music which is better than all the people who aren't as good as us."), and left me drained, confused, and very very happy. Singer Richard Praugroque's lyrical talent seems to improve at an almost exponential rate, While Guitarist Tom Hendrix (who changed his name after being "inspired by the poignant loudness of the dead sixties guitarist Jimmy Hendrix. He opened the door for a lot of young black musicians who were starting to embrace, and be inspired by, the rock and roll music invented by Elvis Presley.") weaves a Bayeux Tapestry of pure emotion, unmatched currently in the music world. Their talents complement each other like shit and flies, never more so than on the album's best track, "There's Only Garbage And You Left Inside Of My Soul". On this incredible number, Hendrix's guitars seem to drift in and out of consciousness, creating a rainbow palette of sound over which Praugroque sings some of his most plaintive lyrics: "I can't believe you left me standing/Alone in the street without a head/You say that I'm just too demanding/But you know I'm a fucking dynamo in bed." The Relaxation Effect are a rare jewel. Treasure them. 3. The decision by Scottish Passenger Transport to change the number of the bus from Glasgow to Milngavie from the 119 to the 109 every half hour. This bold move reinforces the role of the bus as an artistic statement in an increasingly mobile yet ultimately empty society, and not before time. Fifteen of the countries foremost mathematicians and twelve unemployed philosophers came together to work on this project, which had a budget of half a mllion pounds, and after six months they came up with this number, based on the theories on Gauss, Keirkegaard and Monkhouse. Some critics feel that 108 would have had a greater emotional impact, but I for one think that 109 says more about the role of the bus in the 21st century, and its paralleling of the journey of the soul. 109 ginves a rare insight into the bus' mirroring of the body, as an ultimately empty yet necessary vehicle. A triumph. 4. Richard Hixon: Stand-Up These recently discovered tapes give us a fascinating glimpse into the early career of former President of the United States Richard Nixon, as a stand up comedian. As one would expect given his later career (which he chose to pursue full time after much deliberating and an offer from Las Vegas), politics is the topic of choice for much of his performances, though this is undercut with some wonderfully witty observational humour. A choice monologue follows: "You know ladies and gentlemen, if there's one thing I hate its a liar. Don't you? I have a friend who's a habitual liar. Can't stop himself. This is a man who tell tales so tall they get signed up by the New York Nicks! I mean, this man does so much lying, he never gets out of bed! Ha ha, I can see you know what I'm talking about, miss! But seriously folks..." 5. The new McDonalds advert This is one of the best adverts I've seen on telly for many a year, possibly even the greatest since Shake and Vac. If you think that's going too far, well then that just tells you how genuinely excited I am about this landmark commercial. For any of you who haven't seen it, it features Ronald McDonald killing a cow with a automatic rifle, before going to eat the raw flesh of the dead animal. However, just before he puts the heart of the beast in his mouth, a McDonalds employee offers him a Big Mac, and he decides to have that instead. It's always wonderful to find that a company as large as Mcdonalds have the ability not to take themselves too seriously, and for this they should be applauded. Hmm, this seems to be going on quite long and I'm hungry, so I'll give you the next five in my next post, unless enough people beg me not to. Bye. Alasdair xx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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