The Black Fox found Jubilee sat in the garden, her green woolen jumper bundled loosely in her lap. She had been digging in the garden and had uprooted the rosemary bush which lay beside her, it's roots carefully wrapped in a damp cloth. The fox sat down in front of Jubilee and sniffed the air. She smelled of tears and tiredness and a strange, sharp chemical. -Hi fox, she said wearily. The Black fox said nothing. Jubilee brushed her hair out of her eyes, leaving a mark on her cheek from the dirt under her fingernails. -I knew I'd have to give her back one day, she said quietly. The fox gave her a puzzled look. Jubilee laid a protective hand on the green jumper. -The cat... The fox sniffed the jumper, and her ears flattened against her head. The green wool smelled of cat and tears and sudden stillness. She looked up a Jubilee. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. What could be said that Jubilee hadn't already thought? ~What happened? -She was fine last night but this morning she couldn't stand up properly. I took her to the vet and he gave her an X-ray. There was a tumour the size of a walnut behind her eye. The guy said she'd be dead in 3 months, and she's have to be on painkillers for most of it so... Jubilee shrugged her shoulders. -I knew it would happen eventually. ~That you'd have to give her back? Jubilee smiled to herself and nodded. -I stole her. The fox frowned. Jubilee stroked the wool absently. -There was this feral cat who showed up one night. She was pregnant and covered in mud and fleas. i fed her and made up a bed for her, a cardboard box and a blanket, and sat with her all night. The next morning she gave birth to two black and white kittens. One of them was stillborn. It was tiny... I should have wrapped it up and buried it but... I wrapped it up in my skirt and stared at it. Then I picked up a piece of paper and rolled it into a straw. I pushed it down the kittens throat and breathed into it's lungs. One breath. I pulled out the straw and rubbed it's chest and it began to breath. It was alive! Jubilee smiled suddenly. -They both survived the night. Then the day. And the nights and days after that. Months passed and the mother vanished, taking the other kitten with her. My kitten stayed with me. At night she would curl up on the pillow beside me. When I got upin the morning, she would stumble after me. I stole her... I gave her my breath and she lived. -I took her to the veterinarian, and he told me she was dying. I made the decision. I held her when he gave her the injection, and she reached her face up to mine and I bowed my head to meet her. She let out a sudden, sharp gasp of air into my mouth, as if she had held that first breath in her chest all this time, and the time had come to return it. Jubilee closed her eyes. -She'd always go to sleep on this jumper. it seemed the right thing to do. She opened her eyes and carefully stood up. The fox watched as she laid the green bundle in the ground and pushed soil back into the hole. She planted the rosemary on the grave and the black fox touched it with the tip of her nose. ~rememberance, she said softly. Jubilee said nothing, and brushed dirt from her hands. She touched a fingertip to her lips. -One breath, she murmured, the whisper catching on the breeze. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+