stare... how do i contract time? large movements only come when selecting new music. how is it that it can be quite so quiet here? has everyone entered the same zone as me? very little seems to get accomplished; just enough to meet the deadline, no matter if it is correct. each wall is adorned with a clock to constantly remind us that time is, indeed, the corporate sponsored religion. stare.... in such a sterile environment, one's brain slowly becomes unhinged, though mine has excelled in only 2.5 months. the results are interesting: quick, spastic movements when away from these cubicle walls, mood swings brought on by thoughts of sad times of the past (why can't i be there instead of here?), frantically grasping for my legs in fear that they've simply fallen off for they are no use here in the land of email and speaker phone. direct human contact leaves me shuddering, craving for the shadows. stare.... life (whatever is allowed, at least) away from the corporation is now indirectly affected. sexual advances are now required to be booked through an office assistant; fifteen minute meetings only please. i've stopped listening to others' tales for my jealousy for their lives makes me an unhappy, and therefore (according to the sign), an unproductive employee. stare..... i wonder if the two neighbors of mine even know what the other looks like; they are constantly on conference calls to one another just feet apart; this is called efficiency. in my space, time has frozen; the company calendar reminds me of january and brags a photo of germany. june saddened me with the image of poppies and was quickly discarded. moments of joy can be found: when the coffee machine slips and gives me two cups rather than just one; when a print job can be successfully located through the sea of cubicles. sometimes people bring donuts. i don't like donuts, but i do like to take one to remind me of someplace with flavor. stare......... this is my life now, for the next 40 years or so. i've taken my place in front of that ladder. the sign begs that we wait our turn; please don't push for everyone will get the chance to plunge to their death once we can no longer climb. they do say that the life expectancy rate is getting longer. this will allow me the opportunity to enjoy life a bit, that is if i've planned and saved appropriately. stare...... jillianne ps. still working on that quote, so until then i shall borrow one from sara. after all, as all cover bands claim, it's meant to be a compliment, not laziness: "all the people'd stare as if we were both quite insane someday my name and his are going to be the same" _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+