the dishes overwhelm the sink from last night's cooking endeavor, his mostly drunk second glass of wine rests beside this computer screen, the map of the this weekend's backpacking trail and a bike reflector we found in the next city, his smiling photos, my book on zen lying on the floor last read by his bright brown eyes---those eyes that reached down into the pools of my blue soul, the rain song that shall forever dance in my head and remind me of the fire we built and the hammock we laid in, the sun-crackled mornings and the river that i gathered water from to bathe my bare body in the natural world we all came from, the rich dirt under my nails and the sweet scrapes of all that's imperfectly beautiful. my weekend ended this morning. he drove away out into this gleamed-up day. i almost wanted to cry, but it would have been out of habit for whenever anybody leaves. you're supposed to cry. but really i all i could do was smile. he's goin out west, he's goin to montana, he's gonna live his life, i took my shower, all i could do was smile. he's got his life, where is mine? i dunno. but i'll smile, i'll grin till the cows come home cuz my turn is just around the bend, and by golly damn, i'll live. patience is a virtue, and i'm feelin mighty virtuous. the brown-eyed boy reinforced that well-known fact to me quite indirectly...i don't even know if he knows he did. but the sun is up and out, i'll clean all those dishes, i'll wash my cave-muddied khakis, i'm gonna ramble on, i'm gonna sing my song. i gave him a multi-vitamin. he gave me a kiss. it's tuesday morning and i know i've gotta go to school. but these expectations have been met, these expectations have been exceeded. breathe. ---your mountain mama sweetheart X "The differences between what you hope for and what you end up receiving are part of what makes the outside, the hoped for, worthwhile...and beautiful." ---the Lovely Lou http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+