Hello you lovely bunch of people I decided to wear high heels to work today. As Vivian says in Pretty Woman, "Big mistake. Huge." I quite often wear heels at work, but usually the sensible fraction of my brain reminds me to wear trainers for the fifteen minute march at either end of my train journey and change at the office. Not today though, oh no. I've now lost all feeling in four of my poor little tootsies. Not only that, but my stomach muscles are killing me too. This isn't for the usual reason (alcohol-induced illness), but because of my extreme jealousy of Denise Lewis' six-pack. Did you see it? Non-UK and non-Olympics-obsessed people, she won the gold medal in the Heptathlon. Who said stars of track and field are ugly? Denise isn't! She's so toned, so gorgeous, so lovely and I'm so envious. 'Well,' I thought, 'there's only one thing to do. Sit-ups'. I waited until my flatmate was out so he couldn't laugh at me, then got on with it. Surprise! No pain! Until the next day, that is, when I had far too much trouble getting out of bed. I think I'll just sit in a chair for the rest of my life and paint my nails and watch telly. It's much safer. Have you all been and had a look at the Sinister photo pages? There are lots and lots of Red Knickers Day shenanigans. The memories just came flooding back... Hey, watch out Glaswegians, I'm planning a trip in your direction in a few weeks and you WILL come drinking with me. You WILL! Mwah ha ha! There seem to be many more spiders webs than usual this autumn. Last weekend, I saw six of them on the way home, stretched between bushes and covered in dew, glistening under the orange street lamp. The spiders themselves seemed very fat and well-fed, unlike the miserable specimens I found lurking in my bed the other night. I pulled back the duvet to climb under and two skinny little albino spiders came running out. Albino spiders! Hens' teeth! I brushed them onto the floor and tried to forget they were there because they gave me the willies. Hopefully I didn't eat one during the night, because I heard the average person eats several during their lifetime. Yuck. That's all for now. If you're going to the Baxendale gig tomorrow, I'll see you there. Juicy Lucy ps. Thank you to all the people who said nice things about my last post. I was quite surprised, considering I used a large part of it to describe a cake made with lots of lard. pps. Mark Casarotto will have my guts for garters for mentioning this, but anyone interested in kids' TV should click on this here link: http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/cinerama/comedy/109/ They've got MP3s of all sorts of TV theme tunes, including the Littlest Hobo (for Martin) and Sport Billy (for Miss Velocity) and Bagpuss (for Ally96) __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+