Hola all you witches and goblins,

Brandt woke up and said:

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It's been a bad day and I'm determined to make it worse.

Well that's a good start...

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Anyone need an agony uncle but you don't want to annoy that ultra hipster belle and sebastian fan on the go? Feel free to write me and we'll chat. I wouldn't mind getting to know some of the sinister kids out there.

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Honestly though, they have a good point. This list grows every day with new people graduating from the nursery. Personal lives tend to be repetitive and mundane, mine included. However, I would like to point out that apart from Tag, most everyone who bitched was being rude. So shame on you (I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, probably by the same people who don't have the time to be bothered to read about others personal lives. Whatever.)

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I won't bring up my family problems on the list anymore. When my gran dies, I don't want to not be entertaining, so I'll just take a few days off so those of you out there who don't want to be bother won't be bothered.

If anything's rude, it's your little guilt trip right there. You can't send extensive diary-like posts asking for sympathy from 1000+ people, most of whom don't know you, impose on them to FEEL for you and then turn around and tell those who complain that they're being insensitive and don't care if your gran dies.

Accusing people of being ultra-hipsters for suggesting that this is not an appropriate place for these sorts of posts is a low blow as well, and just seems like a knee-jerk reaction.

Like someone else mentioned, if I have personal problems I only tell them to people who I know. Most of whom are on email actually. Even if we could say that 'People on this list like B&S and therefore they will understand me', would you randomly approach people at a B&S gig and start rambling on about things beyond 'this song is great' and 'so you like corona too'? (if you did, they would probably run and hide!) But then again, at a gig there is opportunity to be introduced or to meet people, and then you become friends. And THEN you progress to the stage where you can let them know all about yourself, warts and all. And I think that even though a mailing list is a unique social phenomenen of its own, that sort of thinking would be useful here as well. You get to know certain people on the list, or in chat, and then the relationship develops and you create your own little sub-lists that extend beyond.

The fact that the relative anonymity of the list makes it therapeutic to a few people isn't really productive on a whole. It sounds like for someone like Jason, he gets a real buzz off the random mails he *might* receive from his posts, but that's not a justification is it? Saying 'you can delete it if you want to' seems to be a lazy excuse too.

As I suggested before, it seems far more logical to mail a group of people who you already know from email and chat, or where ever, and that way a) you're more likely to get the kind of soothing responses you want and b) you won't get irritated responses that will annoy you.

If your friends are crap, why are you calling them friends? I'm sorry, but expecting an entire mailing list to be a surrogate is unrealistic.

And just because B&S are at a bit of a stand-still, it doesn't mean that there's nothing to talk about. Amuse and above all, inform! Tell us about books, gigs, films, the time you heard b&s in a supermarket...I see plenty of people posting every day about these sorts of things. If you're so gosh-darned lonely, organize a Sinister bowling match and tell us all about it! If no one is exactly close by, buy a bus ticket or drive! In my entire life in my hometown, barely ever did I have friends who lived anywhere near me. Get off your butt and make an effort, don't just complain. I used to sell off my record collection or work overtime to pay for a bus ticket to New York. Or stay up until 4 am finishing assignments for college so that I could work nights and pay for flights to see my b&s sweetie. Many of us have moved our worldly possessions thousands of miles to stop being lonely. Anything is possible!

That to me is productive caring and sharing, if you have to call it that. Don't be a snore!

love, elisabeth

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