hello all you lovely, lovely people, i like alix's (1) name-dropping game, so i'll see how i do. DOES ANYONE ELSE GET TURNED ON BY WASHING UP? because i do. and that probably makes me a sick pervert. oh well. oh, and i can let everyone know why boys don't talk about wanking other than 'hur-hur' laughing type talking. once when i was smoking some bongs with the cool set in winchester, someone who played for the first eleven football and cricket, and was therefore VERY cool, got rather stoned, and when the subject of wanking came up he said 'yeah... the best bit is when you stick two fingers up your bum, just as you're cumming'. a shocked silence followed - could a school idol be A GAY HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOT? he went rather red after he realised that anal exploration wasn't what most red-blooded school boys did... NICK DASTOOR (2) MAKES ME HORNY except i don't like his handwriting, because it's just like someone i went out a while back with's. so when i got a tape from him this morning i thought 'oh shit, what does she want now?' but instead i got some sweet songs. nick, baby, you're a star. GEOFF (3) IS SSSOOO FUCKING GORGEOUS the highlight of the picnic must have been the sight of the lovely, heavenly geoff coming over the crest of the hill wearing a pale pink t-shirt with 'VOGUE' scrawled across it. the delightful arantxa (4) had just been asking me about the living legend, and he turned up, spirit bottle in hand as ever. ooh, every time i think about his golden locks i sink off into reverie... and he's also a lovely chap - once i established that i was WAY to drunk to get to the pub he walked me to the bus stop and made sure i got on the right bus. hope you enjoy your tape, darling. I STOLE MATT'S (4) DRINK TO CHARM THE LASSIES alix already mentioned my demon tom cruise-esque skills with the spirits. but she neglected to mention that the drink that she, heavenly-even-when-not-blurred erica (5), donna (6) (and maybe pamela 'boozegirl' hutchinson (7) - the old memory's not working too well...)and i enjoyed so much was all supplied by drunken wrist-damaged matt. after smoking all his drugs i took his vanilla vodka and lemonade, and mixed them together (about half vodka, half lemonade) and passed the drinks around, hoping that someone would join me in passing out. no-one did though... i think erica was charmed, though, so that's ok ;) WHEN I WAS TEN AN OLD SCOTSMAN CALLED ME A LASS and that's before i came out at all, so i was in a bad mood about it. all my fault for having long hair, i suppose. I APOLOGISE TO MY FOOTBALL TEAM FOR BEING SHITE i was too busy telling kevan (8) he was one of my legions of list-crushes, and then chasing him when he ran away with a panic-stricken grimace on his face ;) and i lay claim to being the first one to make an immature joke about matt's wrist - 'no joy for you tonight then, darling,' is what i think i said. ho ho. the gags just keep on coming. AND I APOLOGISE TO EVERYONE ELSE FOR PASSING OUT if anyone was offended by my subtle demonstration of the art of passing out from too little food plus too much drink and dope, please forgive me. and if i passed out on top of you, even more profuse apologies - i can't really remember. i can remember that stuart g (9) had the same socks as me, though. oh, and i apologise to everyone who called out requests when i was playing strousers' (10) guitar for only knowing b&s songs. and for singing like utter shite. RIDING ON CITY BUSES london transport sucks. i just had to wait an hour for a bus after doing some gardening. and then there were three... wendy cope was right - well, on the bus front. anyway, once on the bus we got stuck behind some bin men, and it was swealtering hot and sticky, and people were rather pissed off, and one charming lady decided to philosophise out loud. i WISH i'd had a dictaphone - i really couldn't believe this (bear in mind i live in a supposedly trendy and liberal part of london). anyway, here's as much as i can remember of her monologue: 'all them fuckin' blacks and packies - that's who i blame. cloggin' up the streets, takin' all the jobs what is meant to be for proper english people. that's why all the fuckin' buses is shit. it's them blacks, innit? can't drive proper. [the driver happened to be black] and them packies, with their stupid clothes - takes 'em half a bleedin' hour to get on and off the bus. would've been home by now if it weren't for them. fuckin' packies. when in rome, do what the romans does. that's what i say.' well, it takes all sorts, doesn't it? BELLE AND SEBASTIAN LIVE, SUPPORTED BY MOGWAI i had a dream last night, and i dreamed that i was in the union chapel with natasha (11), mark c (12), miss vicky (13) and neill (14), and we'd gone to see b&s. it was really empty, and mogwai were opening. unfortunately i only remembered the mogwai set when i woke up (punk rock, cody, with portfolio, mogwai fear satan), but i remember going up to isobel and inviting her to come to visit me in prague. then i saw stuart murdoch in the corner hiding behind the newspaper he was reading, so i went over to invite him as well, but he turned into david kitchen (15). i wasn't expecting this, and so i woke up. any freudians around? am i gay? is stuart murdoch gay? etc. anyway, it was a lovely dream. anyway, that's all for now. hugs to all and kisses to my list-crushes (and, of course, snogs to geoff), love Marcus XXX ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". 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