The poetry parrot has just turned up on my doorstep absolutely shit-faced, sent home in disgrace from his xmas party after an appauling display of jannerism. Here's what he had to say for himself. twas the night before christmas and shit was it neat. the kids were both gone and my wife was in heat. the doors were all bolted the phone off the hook it was time for some nooky by hook or by crook mom in her teddy and I in the nude had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube when out on the lawn there arose such a cry that I lost my boner and momma went dry up to the window I sprang like an elf tore back the shade while she played with herself the moon was so bright that it lit up the yard the place was a mess something hit it real hard when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer with a fat little driver half out of his sled a sock in his ear and a bra on his head sure as im speaking he was as high as a kite and he yelled to his team but it didn't sound right whoa shithead whoa asshole whoa stupid whoa putz fuckin slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts over the lamp post and don't hit that tree quit shaking the sleigh cause I gotta go pee they cleared the old lamp post the tree got a rub just as santa leaned out and threw up in the shrub and then from the roof came a hell of a splatter as each little reindeer now emptied his bladder I was donning my jacket to cover my ass when down through the chimney he came with a crash his suit was all soaking with perfume galore he looked like a bum and smelled like a whore that was some cathouse he said with a smile the reindeer are pooped so I'll hang for awhile he walked to the kitchen and poured up a drink then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink I started to laugh my wife smiled with glee the old boy was hung nearly down to his knee back in the den santa reached in his sack but his toys were all gone and some new things were packed the first thing he found was a black leather whip next were some x-rated video clips a box full of condoms was Santas next find and a six pack of panties 'the edible kind' a bra without nipples a penis extension and boxes of goodies I won't even mention a cock ring a g-string and all types of oil and a dildo so long that it lay in a coil. this stuff ain't for kids mrs.santa would shit if you don't mind I'll leave it all here when I split he filled every stocking and then took his leave with one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve he sprang to his sleigh but his feet were like lead and he fell on his buttocks and broke wind instead he cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch lets go ya varmits the nights been a bitch the shuddering lurch slammed him back in his chair and he let out a belch as they took to the air bending the lamp post and raking the tree he bounced off a rooftop and finally got free im comin home woman! he sang with a smirk so grab both your ankles and pull up you skirt!! +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+