[Sounds of Isobel playing cello and Sarah playing violin] [Images of violin shaped Sarah and Isobel and jello] [harp sounds] [ more harp sounds] Hello Boys and Girls from the Troll who won't go away. Today's dictionary day is about bad words. We are going to look into some of those naughty words you aren't allowed to say. But first, we have a letter from a boy called The Major. He is 8 and he says that the way he gets to say bad words is to discuss them with your parents. Ask questions about the dirty word and you can say it as often as you like. But make sure you let your parent know that you are only saying the bad word so that you can find out more about it. What a wonderful idea, boys and girls. So that is how we can talk about bad words today. Our first bad word to discuss is, now remember, we are only saying it to find out more about the word, we aren't actually using it or saying it to get into touble, our word is: Mother-f [abrupt stop] [cue announcer] We interupt this broadcast to bring you a Special Presentation. This episode of Dictionary Day was never supposed to be aired any way. The following is paid for and is the opinions solely of the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, and Nephew, and Son. [theme song from 2001 A Space Odyssey - then deep resonant voice] Welcome to Sini-Crush 2000. Your weekly update on the Crush list watch. This is the Weekend Edition. [sponser's advert] A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. Said the bear to to the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" To which the rabbit replied in the negative, so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. Here at Bear, Bear, Bear, and Nephew and Son, we will represent you and make sure that none of the shit sticks to you. We can have bail posted within an hour. Call us and we will be there quicker than a rabbit. [end sponser's advert] [cue announcer] What a wild week it has been. The Sini-Crush is getting off to an interesting start. There are still quite a few potential votes to be cast. Let's have a look at what has happened so far.... Laura (I'm not a tart, I'm the whole pie) Llew has increased her lead with 3 votes. {lleweth@hotmail.com} Ellen (Think about it, I'm Scandanavian) Jernström has made it onto the list with a vote.{nelle@hem.passagen.se} We see this from Alasdair [those fucking bastards pre-empted my guest spot on Dictionary Day] Cook who already has a vote registered and gets another one today..... {acook@cs.strath.ac.uk} " VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I'M THE GREATEST! NO-ONE ELSE IS BETTER THAN ME IN THE WHOLE WORLD! It's true." And those are not only the two leaders overall, but leading by gender. We also see Idle [you weren't planning on closing both eyes when you sleep ] Berry threaten her beau....{idleberry@yahoo.com} "boyfriends can be replaced *hint hint warning*" Can we know if she voted his name? As well, we see this from Jeanette (no last name but I will take advantage of your young body because I'm older and wiser) {jeanette@ktc.com} "By the way, you should never believe a word I say. I'm over 30." How about that for some subliminal mind control that seems to have worked. [commercial interruption] "I survived Sini-Crush 2000" Get your T-shirts now. We have a limited stock of them so don't delay. One size fits none. Available colours are black with black writing. Prices include shipping and handling... US Dollars: 2490.00 UK Pounds: 11,237.00 CDN Dollars: 24.99 +PST +GST +THIS_ST +THAT_ST +ANOTHER_ST +50% of your income in more taxes. EUROS: However many you send. [end commercial interruption] [cue announcer] In further developments...... Rachel (watch me beat that tart Laura) Tucker, who already has one vote, says this in a secret message which our analysts from the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, and Nephew and Son, have decoded.....{rachel@tigermilk.freeserve.co.uk} "me doing my best fuck off teenage attitude....cos i can do the business y'know...call me love and that's £12.39....hey, i meant it about 'doing the business' if you're interested...sheep who is definitely from oxford" Our analysts tell us that Rachel is definitely trying to secure the rural vote in this move with advanced media techniques. In another breaking story, our analysts have noticed considerable activity on the body parts page. Now is this only Mummy catching up or can we expect to see even more activity? Of course, the research department of Bear, Bear, Bear, and Nephew and Son, are currently verifying the stipulation that anyone appearing on the body parts page will technically be a non-nursery member of the list, therefore capable of having a registered vote placed in their favour. This is cause for concern because today it was learned that a 10 million dollar class action lawsuit was launched against the Toronto Sun and their page 3 bikini girl and improprieties involving a photographer who resigned Wednesday. Thankfully the firm Bear, et. al is not involved as yet, however rumours have begun to surface in regards to Joesph's missing two weeks. It has been discovered that Joseph is bisexual and will have sex with both humans and bears. It would also appear that most guys, particularly after an evening of pints, cannot distinguish a girl bear from a boy bear from behind. Is there a scandal brewing up? Our analysts are also following a trend of listees subtlely drawing attention to the e-mail address or suddenly siginging off their e-mails with their e-mail addy. We'll see how things develop over the next week. That's it for this edition of Sini-Crush 2000 Weekend Edition. Remember, cast your vote, doesn't matter if you know the person, (in fact, all the better) but let's see you exercising your sinister right. alexander.borgia@sympatico.ca I'm not just any cheap internet slut, I'm king of the cheap internet sluts. [this space left blank intentionally] [end e-mail] +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@missprint.org". 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