I'm going to miss Stuey D for the dazzling sense of humour he injected into the band. Let's re-live one of those classic moments, shall we? "I used to think my Dad looked like Elvis. I haven't told him that yet. I haven't told my Dad, either"* That boy's a real card, isn't he? Talking of cards, my team, the Cards (that's Woking FC, as if you didn't know) are right down there at the bottom of the Conference. If you don't know the football league system in England, that's the fifth league from the top. It's not good that they're in the Conference, but it's even less good that they're facing relegation and the club don't want to sack the manager because he's a Nice Man. Oh yeah, and the club are losing £4,000 per match, so they sold their best player for £20,000. Great move, that. Rachel Tucker, was it you who was fed up about Oxford? I challenge you for the title of Sinister Football Moaner. You can't possibly be more miserable than me. I don't think anybody has established a Sinister Bed and Breakfast yet, have they? May I have the honour? It will be twee to the foundations, but you can forget your butterfwies and bunny wabbits - I mean twee in the old-fashioned, New Forest pony and Devon cream tea sense of the word. First off, it's got to have a thatched roof. Then, there'd be chintz curtains, chintz tablecloths, chintz armchairs and matching chintz headboards and valence sheets in the bedrooms. I'd have net curtains in every room (the sort that are shorter in the middle than at the sides) and they would twitch regularly. There'd be a little fire in the lounge with faux coals and an orange glow and a load of horse brasses hanging above it. On the mantlepiece would reside a whole host of china ladies in lovely long dresses with parasols. I would sit behind the reception desk of my B&S B&B, evil-eying over the top of my specs at the so-called married couples who came in for DIRTY WEEKENDS! Each morning, I would my run about , feather duster in hand, gold peep-toe slippers (of the sort one might wear on a cruise) on my feet, curlers in my hair, terrorising the guests and inspecting their rooms for clues as to what they'd been up to, before having a good gossip with my next door neighbour ("Ooh, Mrs Jones, they had two rooms, but her bed was COMPLETELY untouched!"). I'd do a magnificent full English breakfast (the bread cut with my famous bread knife, natch) and would sneer at anyone who can't stomach a black pudding. Of course, I'd have abide by B&B Rules and charge for Use of Cruet. Who was analysing dreams a while back? I'd like to see some analysis of people's village career choice, please. I've got a sore back and I'm walking like an octagenarian at the moment. Expressions of sympathy to... Juicy Lucy *I may well have got the wording a bit wrong - I'm at work, so I can't search to double-check it. Don't bite my head off, pleeeeeease? This communication contains information which is confidential and may also be privileged. It is for the exclusive use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient(s), please note that any distribution, copying or use of this communication or the information in it is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and then destroy any copies of it. -- MCI WorldCom Year 2000 information http://www.wcom.co.uk/2000 +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+