Hello, I was reading the nme, apparently ol dirty bastard shouted "sperm donor" at a woman in court. Fancy that. I had to turn off that Gormenghast program, the guy with the long hair really turned my stomach, he's grotty. Like that bastard off the phone advert (not funkyseb) the mobile phone advert, the guy that's stalking that girl then gets to shag her for nothing. That's not on. Talking of which, don't read this if you don't like swearing or if your name is Stephen Pastel. I don't usually swear at all, I'm really quiet and I love little babies and puppies. ==================== A long time ago in a land called Partick there lived a young man called Stephen Pastel. He was the sort of ruffian that would call folk "wank" or "poof" and then batter them. And it wasn't just children, it was grown ups too. He thought he was the hardest cunt in town and whilst punching people he would cry out loud "the hardest cunt in town!", just like that. But he wasn't really the hardest cunt in town, his rich dad was paying everyone behind his back to let him think he was. And, you know, people didn't mind getting punched by him, because it didn't hurt (it actually tickled a wee bit). Now then, one day the circus came to town. Stephen Pastel fucking loves the circus, that is a well known indie fact. He couldn't sleep the night before, his legs where kicking and he kept getting up for glasses of water and looking at the clock and wishing it was circus time. At long last the time arrived, and he sprinted to the big top faster than a speeding rocketship. He ran up to the best seat, punched the woman sitting in it and told her to fuck off. Which of course she did, because she had already been paid by his rich dad. And so the show began...colourful clowns fell about silly, lions roared, the strong man lifted up a really fat woman and a man did a handstand. Stephen Pastel was loving it. Then he saw her - the trapeze girl. She was a beauty and he fell in love with her. After the show he thought to himself "I must meet her, and make her mine". He wandered up to the girls caravan and chapped on the door. "Hello", he said, "this is Stephen Pastel here, hard cunt. I love you, I want to marry you". "Go away", came the girly reply from inside "I'm not interested". Stephen Pastel was at first flabbergasted, then he was raging. "Well, if you don't want me", he shouted, "I'm gonna have to batter you raaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr". He burst in and punched the girl on the nose. But instead of falling over like people normally did, she just looked at him. "That wasn't sowa at all," she said, "you'we no hawd cunt, you'we soft. Your wich daddy has been pawing people to let you punch them so that you'wd thwink that you'we hard!". Then she pulled of her wig - she wasn't a girl she was a man. In fact she was the Murdoch! "You'we fow it now!", the Murdoch said and proceeded to punch Stephen Pastel until he ran away crying. He was distraught! How could his own dad have done this to him? He wasn't hard, he was soft, in fact he was so soft he could be a qualified librarian. Then and there, he decided to devote the rest of his life to being lovely. And you know, with all the money his rich dad was saving, he bought him the circus, which Stephen got to go to every single night until he died. right up you, Christoffa me - http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~calnd/sleeka/ murdoch - http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~calnd/stuart/stuart.htm ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+