Quite a good week for TV. New series' of Deep Space Nine and Buffy, and a couple of grrreat rugby world cup semi-finals. These are the things I live for, call me sad if you wish. Better still, call me a cab! Take my wife, etc. I could be the new Bob Hope, you know. I was invited to a party last week, in Inverness! Even more bizarrely, the invite came from the lead singer of Toaster, a band I have never actually heard. Apparently it was going to be fantastic, as there would be "loads of coke, loads of charlie". Now coke I do like (I've always preferred it to pepsi), but I have absolutely no idea who this charlie fellow is. If there's loads of him I suppose he must be quite fat. Maybe he's a comedian, like Bernard Manning. Or maybe he sells turkeys like Bernard Matthews. Sadly though, I had to work, so we shall never know. I've discovered over the past 2 minutes that if you say 'Trousers' in the voice of Unlucky Alf from the Fast Show, it's quite funny. Probably only to me, though. Anyway, here he is. Stevie, not Alf:

Does anyone else know of rock'n'roll animals who have settled down to get proper jobs?

Well quite literally actually, as Animal from the Muppets is actually my local hairdresser. As some of you may have noticed from looking at my barnet, he's not the best there is but, hell, he's cheap. Sinister Minister:

I have now decided that when I finnish uni...etc etc blah blah (rest of sentence not required for piss-poor joke which follows)

I have decided that when I scottish uni I'm going to make exams easier so that even dullards like me can pass with flying colours. Louise:

y'know when you 've got a cold and you go around with your mouth open, a la bob the evil goldfish, for days... BUT THEN the cold starts to go away and your sense of smell and taste start to come back , only really slowly, so for a day or so you go around surreptitiously smelling everything, wondering "will i be able to smell this time?" (hoping that nobody else has noticed you doing this). then sooner or later everything comes back and then you can taste and smell everything and then..... you discover that that milk you'd been drinking really was sour (you'd suspected, but you weren't sure and were too lazy to go down the shops). i dunno, you forget how nice stuff tastes sometimes..blah, blah,blah

You know, temporary insanity makes for excellent posts. If only I could write things like this. Sigh. "Bottle of":

Mark mentioned that one of the boys from Gregory's Girl looked like Struan. I think I know which one you mean. I also think this was the one Arantxa thought looked like Alasdair Cook. He did, you know. I tried to persuade her that it was because Alasdair has "a Scottish mouth", but I think I've made that up.

I'm not sure which one he means, they're all a bit on the ugly side so it could be any of them. I want to be Kelvin, though. "Don't tough that ravioli, it's garbage". Hey, wait a minute, I just realised this means I must look a bit like Struan. And everyone fancies Struan. Hmmm, something's not adding up. I do have a Scottish mouth, though, here it is now.....haggis. See? Pants again:

May I suggest that Sinister adopts Keith as its official Scottish non-league football team?

I went on holiday to Keith, when I was about 8. It was freezing cold in the middle of July and we stayed in this big stone house on a farm. The only entertainment came from listening to the exhaust on the car batter against the ground every time we went up the hill leading to the house. And my cousin got to name a sheep. Oh, and Scotland captain Colin Hendry comes from Keith. But none of that is of any interest whatsoever.

It looks like there will be a social at the Poetry Café this Friday, bands still TBC, but it seems possible that those spangly jangle-merchants The Foxgloves will be making an appearance.

Bugger it, I want to go. Issues of distance, and money unfortunately prevent this. But everyone down there should attend. Apparently my brother and his friends were out and very drunk as usual the other night and they met a guy from Philadelphia. So anyway, someone introduces him to my brother's friend as being from Philly, at which point my brother's friend immediately breaks into the theme from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and doesn't stop until he's done the whole thing. This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard, I wish I'd been there. I'm of to watch Rangers give those arrogant German bastards a lesson in something. Losing, most probably. So enough of this nonsense. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+