Sinister: we will take off our clothes
Hi. Do most of you people write your Sinister posts when you're bored? Well, I'm going to do that now so bear with me. I'm not sure if there's anything I have to say so sorry about that. Oh yes. A Spawny Git claimed to have been out drinking and stuff. Yeah right! Methinks he was sitting alone in his bedroom re-watching Blue Velvet for the millionth time. :) A girl (sorry I deleted the post and my memory isn't too good) wrote about her delicious substitute teacher. Don't say that! As I mentioned in my last post I am currently working as a substitute teacher and the thought that all the 12 year-old girls are lusting after me is highly disturbing. I mean, it's bad enough having to deal with the constant giggling and pointing and peculiar looks and I don't need to hear that this sort of thing is actually normal. I have two weeks to go. And another thing, why the hell do I never get this sort of attention from girls my own age? Maybe that's too much to ask. But anyway, if anyone out there is a teacher, how on earth do you deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis? Does anyone here like rap music? Do you listen to that Westwood chap? Is he taking the piss, or is he actually the most hilarious creature ever let loose on worldwide radio? I was accidentally exposed to some of his show last night and he struck me as the sort of person who is probably beaten the shit out of everywhere he goes, what with his "cool" Yankee rap slang and all performed in his slightly stoned English accent. Oh, cool. I just came up with some lovely harmonies for Neutral Milk Hotel's "Holland 1945". I think it's romantic to be in love with a girl who died two decades before one was born. Does that make me sick? That reminds me of John Peel introducing Stereolab the other night, he was talking about his new sexual body donor card. It's not the kind that allows doctors to use your body parts for medical causes. Oh no, this is a card that allows people to shag you once you're dead, if they should have the inclination to do so. This I think is a very tolerant self-sacrifice and as such surely at the forefront of goodness. The card also features a small box to tick if you object to your body being dismembered during the act of naecropheliac (probably wrong spelling, never really learned to spell that word, funny enough) sex. Oh, by the way, if anyone wants to hear that Stereolab session I'll gladly trade copies for something nifty. Whilst I was in the nursery there was a thread about things up the nose. I've never actually stuck anything up my nose, but I remember one time I was eating some extremely spicy tacos when suddenly I choked on some meat and then it went up that secret passage between the throat and the nose so that I had found myself with very, very hot Mexican food coming out of my nose. That was not pleasant, not at all. As for an ideal childhood I think that would have to involve living somewhere in Yorkshire on a farm. When I was younger my favorite TV series used to be All Creatures Great And Small and I thought that whole country practice veterinarian (sp?) thing looked very romantic. Which was probably silly of me as I now can't see anything romantic about having to put little rabbits "to sleep" (when officially the rodent's just off to live with some kid's aunt, in Scotland.) and sticking your entire arm up some randy bull's bum. Okay then, I reckon that's about enough. I'm off to drink all the Martini my younger sister keeps in her closet hiding it from our fanatic teetotaller-parents. Chin chin. Erlend +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
At 07:28 PM 6/5/99 +0200, Erlend Hammer wrote:
one time I was eating some extremely spicy tacos when suddenly I choked on some meat and then it went up that secret passage between the throat and the nose so that I had found myself with very, very hot Mexican food coming out of my nose. That was not pleasant, not at all.
I just have to say that this happened to me. And, God (and stoo and ummm some other people) as my witness, the night before Erland shared his story I told mine. THE CHANCES?? I've been in a stupor ever since I read about your taco misfortune Erland. Except mine was a burrito instead of a taco. I was laughing at something and I choked it the wrong way. As of right now there is no Monday poem. So I am going to sneak off with the parrot, give him a bath, and arrange his feathers just how I want to and send him on his way again. I hope I'm allowed to do that. it's a little bit long but I can't see it not holding anyone's interest. (I'm really really really hoping that I didn't steal the parrot from someone else today. Sorry if I did) here it is: I steal pencils on my way down here tonight I stole a package of pencils. at the time, I didnt even notice that I stole them but when I got here, the pencils were right there in my hand I stole them, not because I wanted to but because I must. pencils have their own kind of magic powers in them and they have always been too compelling for me to resist some people say I steal them because Im a kleptomaniac that would be people like my therapist and the dear lady who orders all the office supplies where I work poor Donna, just like the others, she does not understand my motives are much less sinister than she imagines I steal the pencils to help release the words that they contain every pencil ever made contains hundreds or thousands of words and those words deserve their freedom,the freedom only paper can bring I steal pencils because they contain the words of every poem I will ever write and to rescue them from becoming quadratic equations or even more disgusting poorly spelled graffiti on yet another ten coats of paint thick truckstop bathroom wall tales of the worlds best blow job that never really exists and God knows that we have too many truckstop bathroom walls and too many imaginary blow jobs I like the kind of pencils that you find in the library short, with no eraser, and lead so dark it can be read from the other side of the paper with little effort the kind of pencil that makes a permanent mark on the margins of the page when you are trying to rewrite a poem that was started three years ago but set aside until the right pencil came along to release the final version that is until yet another pencil crosses out the last four words and you banish the page for another six months when I find the a stub of a pencil, I get excited because now I can release one or two of the poems that otherwise would never have seen a scrap of paper but instead would have ended up as someones phone number thrown away or washed in the pocket of a pair of jeans just causing accusations of lying or playing head games mechanical pencils have their place but they will never replace a Trusty number two with distinct teeth marks of frustration and contemplation placed there between scattered thoughts of never finishing that simple sonnet or the final edit of a seventy five page rambling that you know will never be heard by anyone except the drunks who try to sleep in the ally when youre up on the roof spouting out the latest outrage at three A M I would never steal a ball point, or the higher class fountain pen your Waterman, Cross, and Bic disposables are safe so the people at Barnes and Noble can relax and stop following me from aisle to aisle My prize is the second hand pencil removed from your desk and never missed until all the other writing utensils are also missing and your only hope is the pencil, now in my possession I steal pencils because I never have found anything else in this world more valuable to steal. Bekif © 1997 bekif is my friend and he is very nice. I didn't ask him first because I think he went to italy. umm... sorry for such a bland letter molly +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
participants (2)
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Erlend Hammer -
molly