Hello sinister, The most depressing thing in life is hopelesness. The thought that there is no way out. That it won't end. I can take on a lot of things, as long as I know they will end. I've been drowning in hopelesness for some strange reason for weeks now. Hope is usually the only way I can make it through the day with a smile on my face. And, well, I haven't really been smiling very much recently. Everything has an opposite. Every coin has a flip-side. Some people hate to think of when good things end. I remember when I went out with a girl a few years ago, I was very sad because I knew it would end. It had to. I was having so much fun. but it was high school. And those things have a way of ending. In december, I was in Glasgow and Belfast. I knew they would end. I still had a blast, but I knew, back in my mind, they would end. Why was I letting this thought beat down my good times, but not lift up the bad times? If all good things come to an end, surely all bad things do to? I think the key to beating depression is finding that end, or at least knowing it's out there. I found my end. I know it will end. All of this. It's going to end. And relatively soon. And there is the possibility it will get better. People will still annoy me, I'll still be bored all the time, school will still worry me, but only now, it's going to be a little easier. There will be this nice, warm glow surrounding everything. All the pain and sorrow won't be so bad, because there seems to be a voice whispering in my ear "it's almost over. don't worry. something new will come along." Thank fucking Christ. It's almost over. Keep your hopes up kids, -Matt _________________________________________________________________ Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+