Breathing is habit. Life is habit. Or rather, life is a succession of habits... The periods of transition that separate consecutive adaptations... represent the perilous zones in the life of the individual, dangerous, precarious, painful, mysterious and fertile, when for a moment the monotony of being is replaced by the suffering of being... - Samuel Beckett There are loads of reasons why i like that quote, partly because it sounds clever and a just little bit pretentious, but not dangerously so... and in the context of the rest of mr beckett's work it fits perfectly, like a mini manifesto. earlier in the year i went to see 'waiting for godot' at the mac in birmingham, and of the people i went with, one fell asleep and all the others pretty much denounced it as incoherent rubbish... silly them. i like it so much i was tempted to write about it in my english exam in the summer instead of crappy 'death of a salesman' but i couldn't remember it well enough and despite being super cool in class and being a rebel in all my essays, during exams i am a real wimp, you'd hate me. the stuff i write in exams is the type of hollow crap that gets people their grades it's worth it though thats what i keep telling myself anyway, i'm pretty much new, i got my wings and fled the nursery (is that what it's called?) a couple of weeks ago, but one thing or another has prevented me from posting... laziness mostly i guess but everyone here seems so nice and stuff, how could i not say something? one qualm i have is to do with the near cult status that ribena has here... and perhaps you'll say i'm taking ribena much too seriously now, but you know that it's made by smithkline beecham who fund animal testing? i stopped drinking it when i heard that not wanting to sound overly politicised, their advertising net has ensnared john peel too, who i'm sure is everyones hero, since he advertises aquafresh which they make too so sad but i don't want to impose these views on anyone, just please bear it in mind i've digressed, i was introducing myself when you opened the email you might have clicked on kieran which is my name i'm from birmingham in the uk someone a while back commented on how pretty all the cranes look in birmingham city centre and now that i have the chance i will belatedly agree sometimes i hang around town until sunset because there is a kind of skewed beauty when they are silhouetted against the darkening sky... i wont come up with a crap similie because one doesn't really spring to mind so many nice situations are ruined by overly rampant poetic license speaking of poetry somebody showed me this poem the other day I Am the Only Being (1836) I am the only being whose doom No tongue would ask no eye would mourn I never caused a thought of gloom A smile of joy since I was born In secret pleasure--secret tears This changeful life has slipped away As friendless after eighteen years As lone as on my natal day There have been times I cannot hide There have been times when this was drear When my sad soul forgot its pride And longed for one to love me here But those were in the early glow Of feelings since subdued by care And they have died so long ago I hardly now believe they were First melted off the hope of youth Then Fancy's rainbow fast withdrew And then experience told me truth In mortal bosoms never grew 'Twas grief enough to think mankind All hollow servile insincere But worse to trust to my own mind And find the same corruption there - Emily Bronte she wrote wuthering heights too y'know... i think this is proof that if she emily bronte was around now she would be a female morrissey type... or, more fittingly, morrissey is a male emily bronte type, there are definite thematic similarities in their work i think so anyway what else did i want to talk about? oh yeah... the new hefner album this has been causing much consternation in the past week or so since its release, so i wont help by adding my opinion i guess the reaction has been akin to the one from radiohead fans after kid a but as a radiohead fan who loved kid a straight away i can totally dig this new hefner direction... it's not as immediate as the older stuff, and their are a few crap songs on the record, but all in all it's a winner á mon avis also it's interesting to see a band who on paper look like generic indie types really branching out and being sort of experimental i get to see them live on the first of november which should be great, and john peel might even be there too since it's being broadcast on his show i hope so although if i meet him i will undoubtedly make a fool of myself by either embracing him heartily and begging him to sign my face or berate him about advertising aquafresh, despite the numerous apologies on his show, he does it to get his kids throught university he says sorry in advance for any untoward behaviour john isn't applying to university an immensely demeaning and essentially hollow process? it annoys me so much i'm going to save up my bile about it for another post since this one must stay happy oh yeah... i managed to convince my (rich) friend to buy 'if you're feeling sinister' on a whim (i really like whims) and he loves it now so i've instructed him to buy more stuff, and knowing his budget, he will have their entire discography and all the merchandise by the end of the month *sigh* my love for marks and spencer egg and cress sandwiches is tempered only by their cost they are indeed a giant in the sandwich world if only my pocket would run to making them the mainstay of my diet thats all for now i guess, except to say that paul theroux's 'my secret history' is such a good book that you should go out and read it right now, it mentions VS naipaul in it too (under a different name obviously) and i can't think of anything cooler than that i feel as though i should apologise for the length of this post since everyone else does peace and love kieran +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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