The title is a note I actually wrote today while editing the latest smash hit episode of "Sheeep" (sic). Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing. Bad day. Very bad day. I can't remember the last time I actually believed I was good at my job. Grrr. My boss is impossible, my memory's fuzzy, my office is sweltering and my motivation is a self-defeating paradox. Poor Miss Vicky is still off work with her horrific ankle injury - hours away from gangrene, I reckon - and I don't half envy her. Having never thrown a sickie in my life, I feel darn close to throwing one now, except for the fact that I'd spend the whole day not knowing what to do and feeling pointlessly, faultlessly guilty. Guilt sucks. Mental blocks suck too. So does wondering what other career you could switch to and realising that you don't have a clue what else you could do. I like to think I'm quite anal, so perhaps I could make lists all day (no, on second thoughts I prefer to leave that for my free time). Perhaps I could form a band? Perhaps I could get my four track to work. Perhaps I could email all my lovely friends who I've been ignoring lately. Perhaps I could write, like, proper letters to all my other non-wired friends who I've been ignoring lately. Perhaps I should go for retail therapy. But what do I want? A dishwasher. No, really. My parents say it's a stupid idea - someone living on their own shouldn't have a dishwasher, and perhaps they're right. But you waste valuable loafing time washing up... Perhaps I should become a whiny self-conscious novelist. This is the kind of thing they seem to write on their oh-so-important first page, revealing the pattern for the self-indulgent self-centered self-pity you just know you're going to find within. But I can't write, as I'm rather depressingly finding out. Gosh, I am a moody old bugger today! Just what over 1,000 of you needed. Sorry about that. Desperately thinking of something relevant and witty to say, Mark xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+