Hello everyone in sinisterland, Love and emotions abound on the list these days, and congratulations to the recently married! (Please, do not read any further) New relationships are blossoming, some are in troubbble, but that's the cycle of "love" i suppose. Me, I don't think I've ever been in love. I seem to remember thinking it at one point, and I know I said it several times, but I just don't think I was. If I was, it didn't leave a very lasting impression. I suppose hindsight can only be 20/20 if you can still see it. I can't remember much, nor do I really want to. I know I was happy for a time, but I don't remember why or when. I don't think I actually believe in love. Well, that romantic, relationship love. It seems in all (2) the relationships I've had, seems go well, but they go sour after a bit, I grow tired of it all, and move on. Usually it's some damned annoying scene, where I kind of coldly tell them it's best we break up, blah blah blah. The crying begins, and all I can think about is getting home and sleeping, or watching a movie, or perhaps I'm thinking of the song in my head. Whatever is going on, I don't really care. I feel bad about this, but does that mean I do care (see Ben Folds Five "Jane")? I really don't think so. I think I feel bad because I'm selfish, and I'd like to think of myself as emotional or caring or something. I love all you people for being emotional, and I hope you stay that way. Never hide anything. I suppose I live vicariously through your emotions. I get excited when I read about good things happening to a lot of you, and I feel sad when things aren't going so well. I don't feel that way with my friends, or family, or my girlfriends or ex-girlfriends. I don't feel much of anything towards any of them. It's because of this I don't think I've ever really been in love. I love songs, I love movies, and maybe I've loved the idea of someone, but never that actual person. It all comes up a big disappointment. I just don't see love lasting forever. I don't see how it could possibly happen. I'm sure it can somewhere, but I've never seen it. I'd like to believe in love, but it seems more like an idea than an actual thing. Hmm...has this turned into rambling? I think it has. So I'll stop. The beautiful and glamorous Kirsten Kenyon mentioned geese, and Dave added to it. I agree with you, they are horrible creatures. I was once attacked by a goose, and it was an awful experience. I was trying to feed the bastard, and it went nuts on me. I was like Pauly Shore and that damn turkey. Or not. So I realized the White Stripes song "Union Forever" comes from citizen Kane last week. Does everybody else know this but me? Does Jack seem like a jerk to anyone else? He seemed to be when I saw him, but Meg was cute. :) I saw Wilco last week. Everyone needs to see them, their new stuff is incredible. And Jeff Tweedy's a much nicer guy than I expected. I saw Beulah Monday night, which was great too. Everyone should see them. Their new album is amazing. It seems such a shame that there were only about 120 people at the show tops, and most didn't stay for the whole thing. I can't believe all the people in Atlanta don't realize what's going on in their own city. They take the fact that they live so close to such great stuff for granted, whilst I have to drive five hours there and five hours back in one night for a three hour concert. Does anyone else think Richard Gillanders is one of the coolest names around? I need to finish reading for history. I don't think this post made much sense, so I'm sorry about that. -Matt P.S. Ken is right, I proved it this weekend. Red Bull and Vodka is fantastic. P.P.S. Happy birthday to all you sinisters who had birthdays in the past week! _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+