...with any sort of luck, anyway. Hello again to you wonderful people. I have turned into the worst sort of lurker, and haven’t posted in a year, but lately many things many people have written have moved me, especially what Kirsten Kenyon said about milk and vodka and baker baker’s scent of fresh bread and reflections on corpses and fear. Jenowl’s remarks about her crushing school, which made me both laugh and cringe. And Stacey D’s ability to remain calm and even-keeled and even funny in the face of what can’t be a funny situation for her, really. And so now that all is beauty and insight and reflection and turmoil and uncertainty and impending deportation for me, I thought I would post. I saw that Stacey writes as if she has recently been deported from Greece; any tips she can offer on deportation and what is involved exactly where the rubber meets the road deportation-wise would be appreciated. Two weeks ago they told me that they would deport me last Tuesday, but so far, nothing. But this weekend I may have a date! (That is not a Smiths quote, exclamation point notwithstanding). May. Have. A. Date. This is exciting, since it has happened through no fault of my own, other than that, although the wider issues of the day continue to pass me by, I have recently stopped looking at the floor when people talk to me, and instead stare deeply into their beautiful pale green eyes and admire their glowing, rosy complexion when they are helping me talk to people who speak neither English nor Italian but only Slovene while I am trying to buy a car stereo, an event which would in any case be too difficult for me accomplish properly in English, let alone Italian. She saved me. Then sometimes this saving leads to a bumping-into later at a club and then an asking for my number and a promise to phone and then a date and then an offer to marry me, you know, strictly to keep me from being deported. (These last two are extrapolated). But I really need to find out more about this deportation thing, in case the projected wedding falls through. Have many of you been deported ever? The main thing is, I don’t want any Slovenian police forcibly loading me onto a plane to the states. I would much prefer to load my car with salmon and CDs and my friend Peri, now that I have a stereo and don’t have to listen to Peri prattle on, and slip across the alps. I like the idea of slipping across the alps in any case, in a sort of Von Trapp family way. Peri (who is also going to be deported, even more deported than me, if there are degrees to it, if she doesn’t find someone to marry her soon) and I have tickets to the Edinburgh show that’s just a month away, so obviously Slipping Across The Alps is choice #1. Peri is new to B&S but is training up nicely. She sings along with “Stars of Track and Field”. She comes to my apartment with interesting insights on “Seeing Other People”, which she shares over vodka. Lots of it, mostly. Speaking of the universal solvent, at the massive glittering palace of conspicuous consumption here in Nova Gorica, Slovenia, one cannot find Stolichnaya, for some reason, but *B&S Brand Vodka* can be had for a frighteningly small sum. A pittance, actually, which makes me not really want to try it. Maybe I will bring some for pre/post-gig excitement, if any (!?!), in Edinburgh. Anyway, in the non-deportation scenario (we have other irons in the fire besides our vain hopes of wedding the pretty ones who look at us for no apparent reason) is, we fly to London Stanstead two days before the show and rent a car and drive to Edinburgh, sans salmon. After that we will be in Scotland for a week or so before we have to be back in Slovenia, if allowed back. So I am hoping that many charitable souls will make suggestions for how we might/can/should spend the week--offers to help us do same also accepted happily. Peri is hoping that we can find some “debauchery” in Edinburgh and/or Glasgow, and I am pretty hopeful myself, provided I don’t have a Slovenian wife by then. Also, since the Slovenian music scene just isn’t the same since Laibach disappeared, we are hoping there might be other little musical goings-on in the area while we’re there, that is, if we’re not too busy debauching. Anyway, please invite us both to any planned reindeer games going on before/after the show. We are starved for native-speaker contact, not to mention like-minded folk. Is it all too pathetic? Thought so. If any southerners would like to ride to Edinburgh with us Saturday night or Sunday morning, let me know. The car-hire thing is not confirmed yet, but pretty damn likely. Michell Ruiz, as a seasoned Legoer of the first order, I recommend that you follow to the letter the suggestions of Ken regarding concentrating on a pet-textured Lego pet. Maintenance issues would be so much simpler, and really, pets made out of Legos, if properly constructed, are just as affectionate as pets made out of meat and hair. Zivljenje je sladko!* s. gazzetti *Yet another non-Smiths non-quote, but rather ‘life is sweet’ in Slovene, which is a language, apparently. Conectate a Internet GRATIS con Yahoo! Conexión: http://conexion.yahoo.com.ar +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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