um, yes, list, there is sadness afoot on the cdn west coast, But perhaps it is sadness you can relate to. perhaps not. here is the story, i will make it descriptive like the teachers say to do: i've got my looper/flaming lips ticket in the pocket of my shiny grey pants, i've got my pink t-shirt, i've got shiny hair. i've got the bus downtown. all is well. i arrive at the commodore ballroom, recently handed over in management to skanks and assholes who take their jobs "seriously" and have decorated the once amazing club in a not-quite-funky, but nice and non-offensive way (fuck beige). and i check my coat. i sit down w/ friend and drink. and stare at a pulsing screen on stage. then some band comes on. they are called the beans. they are okay, i enjoy in the way someone enjoys something that comes before one of one's favourite things. then i wait a little more. then i move towards the stage. which is being set up for the flaming lips. lights pulse, some guy sets up a ladder and does something in the rafters. a pattern of sound comes up from the crowd, and i listen to it, discover a number of patterns. without headphones because they ran out of those. and without looper t-shirt because they didn't bring t-shirts across the boarder. then flaming lips come on. they throw confetti on the crowd. it is like snow. but i am confused. i did not read the signs out front. i am covered in confetti. looper did not get past the border. or something. or whatever. they are not playing. i know not everyone likes looper. i like looper. i have to admit my sadness. and the sadness of others, sitting back in the club, spending their looper t-shirt money on double rye and cokes. i have a conversation with the bartender who, like all good bartenders, understands my sadness, asks my name and shakes my hand. it's what it's about. the confetti is bound to become a soggy mess in my hair in the shower; it's imbedded. i stay anyway. i feel like a kid, all spoiled, and think i should enjoy myself, but it's really much more like i just broke up mutually with a boyfriend of two to three months. a sadness you know you'll get over, but still, it could have been good, it could have been a lot of things. mm. i had to tell someone. you know it. i'll be better soon. i'm no critic, i'm fully subjective. i didn't hate it, i stayed, i kept the beat, i thought about music. then i said, fuck. at least i smelled good, expensive perfume from the day's excursions into posh stores. rah! and rah! glamour! my lipstick wore off fast... o-kay, it's fine. i'm o----kay. there was a gong. someone kept saying "smash!" But i kept standing still with confetti on my shoulders, thinking about snow days, playing supermariobros all day in 1988. so that's the long way round to the end of this message, but radio escapade is now playing smiths "last night i dreamt...", oh fuck, yeah, it's like the music at a film's credits, except it's my night. it's not my life though, getting down to brass tacks, dick slaps, it's an old story. sorry, i'm a sentimental fool. it'll all be fine in a few days, it all comes back to you in the end... please, enjoy looper double for me if you see them. and, oooh, how can one not be happy when canada has a new political party? the "small c conservatives"! kiss my ass, politics, i laugh in your face. but really, honestly, phew, it's life, so love, Robyn ===== I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright ~~~ Robyn Fadden rfadden@yahoo.com Vancouver, BC __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+