As Daniela has said a few messages ago, Christmas depression is real. It's not an impression of hers, I guess... Because I feel it too. Every year, as november comes, and people starts to scream we should anticipate our christmas' shopping, it seems like I have been stroken in my stomach. But there are lot of theories about why so many people feel bad as the year ends. For me, it's always as many things have been left unsaid or undone. I start to remember: how beautiful was that girl I was dating!... she was really fine... but I missed the chance to tell her how much I liked her. And then the year ends. Time's over! When the year ends, forget it!! Think of something new, wait until the next wave, and so on... And what about that plans of taking theatre lessons? and going back to music school? And calling that friend of mine, that propably has already commited suicide? Oh, no, I didn't do any of these things... and the year ends. It's like everything we planned, everything we hoped was going to come true just turns to dust... dust downside in the ampullete. I have a friend who suffers with christmas depression for different reasons: he has lost his friend in a car accident. His mother is dead too, consumed by cancer. Tough, isn't it? It can happen to any of us... but the problem is: Christmas makes all the bad things that happens to us gather living and fresh colours. When everyone MUST be happy, wouldn't it be the perfect time for knowing why your life just CAN'T be happy? That's another point... Here in Brazil it's close do summer now... it's quite stupid putting a pinus tree in the living room and imagining a Santa with that warm and cozy clothes, while we're living days of 40ºC in the shade. Never understood that! ! We should should start trying adaptations to a "tropical Christmas", with typical trees, fruits and a Santa wearing a softer outfit. But that's a project for the future... There's no cold, no snow around... I envy people who has at least a little snow. At least their traditions are coherent. At last, my Christmas depression probably comes from a simpler cause: I am aquarian. So, as an aquarian, my birthday is at the beginning of the year. January! So, every january I know I am getting older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death ~laughs~. This year I will be 24 years old. I know that a few years further I will be missing these days as my best, but, now, I feel like a lot of years have passed behind me! Wow, a lot!! And where have they gone to? What was I thinking when I let them go?!?! So, this is what I have to say about my private Christmas depression. Daniela: you're not alone! At least, not in Brazil... And let's sing along: "Did you ever see the faces of the children, they get so excited Waking up on Christmas morning, hours before the winter sun's ignited They believe in dreams and all they mean including heaven's generosity Peeping round the doors to see what parcels are for free in curiosity And Tommy doesn't know what they it is Doesn't know who Jesus was or what praying is How can he be saved

From the eternal grave?!?"

Does anybody know that? Beto +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+