dear sinister, the sky's dimming rapidly now, colouring the overcast clouds with a magic purple. the birds outside outside the window are chittering away to themselves, in the normal way they do. but it's scary. you can watch for any fixed period of time, but you will never spot one bird. taking a walk outside, you can hear them all around you, hiding, chirping, mocking, making you feel insecure & want to just curl up on the turf and cry. which is something i have wanted to do an awful lot lately. sometimes the smallest things can kick you, knocking your already fragile self-esteem out of you. it could only be a tiny comment, but if it's something you've worked long and hard over, just for the smallest output, it sets you back so much you wonder what's the point 3 weeks until the manics in glasgow. i listened to them on the radio, playing their first uk gig in ages. the new songs are good, but they're not inspiring. they don't make you want to form a band again having 4 boys in the same room playing out of time & out of tune, admittedly but after listening to you love us and playing it again ourselves with our star jumps & scissor kicks we thought we were world beaters but it doesn't happen anymore when you're just staying in your bedroom lying on your bed dwelling in your self-loathing of how crap & unsociable you are but then again, living where there isn't anyone your age for 6 miles doesn't help much either does listening to a recording of last stop: this town, from later with jools holland. one of the most touching songs, matched with one of the most beautiful videos, i can't remember not getting goosebumps from it. take care m'ducks johnjohn x *hugs to sleeka* _______________________________________________________________________ FSmail - Get your free web-based email from Freeserve: www.fsmail.net +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+