And one day I realised I was dimensionless. Lost my features, face, arms legs, not even a section or a plane, nor the one-dimensional marcusian man, or a dot, an adimensional entity. Or the imaginary part of a complex number? Do you know that the refractive index is an imaginary quantity? It had always amused me, is what creates all the colours and the images we see, and despite being real, is not Real. Sure the heart still pumping gallons of blood trough my veins and arteries and the circulation seems to be in a fairly good shape, the lungs are blowing the air in out mechanically, like a perfect clockwork, all this effort through an non existing body. Cruelty is mechanical. Like any mathematician would tell you. Is cold, colder then walking through the frozen lakes in night without moon and starts in the sky, is sharp, as a well tempered razor blade, is precise, as meticulous springs and gears in a machine, is methodical, as an exercise book of linear algebra. Walking in the fresh air, I did suddenly realise that most of all is worthless. And yes, I am a living thing too with a heart pumping blood trough veins and arteries and lungs are blowing the air in and out all but mechanically. I can even think, talk, write, discuss, iron, wash, cook, run, walk, work, love and for Christ’s sake, suffer. Do I taste like nothing? Do I poison like nothing? Black chocolate, and brandy, and let’s go to the massacre of sentiments. For I haven’t got anything to lose anymore. Love hate whatever you want stefano +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+