hello sinister. if any large boys in the vicinity of nebraska are in an out-of-twee-character fighting mood, i have a boy. for you. to. attack. and. in my mind. it would be best. if he were. well. maimed, maybe? i have decided, finally, once and for all, to swear off anything with a penis. this may include dogs. and dolphins. it has been said that i am the cutest girl alive, and always having some sort of love crisis, and this is probably true. well. the latter part, at any rate. perhaps i will take some time now to provide an addition to my valuable, oft heralded pulling tips. to foray into What Not to Say When Dumping a Girl. first things first: if you have vague plans to get rid of a lady when you ask her over, DON'T smother her with kisses when she arrives. it's just not nice. that said, here is a nice list of DON'TS: Don't say anything to the effect of "lindsey, you are so amazing." "lindsey, you are beautiful." "lindsey, you are so good for me." Don't say anything to the effect of "i just don't know what to say to you." "you are so complicated....but but in a good way." "i don't know what i want/i don't know what you want/i don't know what happened in the last few days, really." Don't say "lindsey, you're not the perfect woman." (not that any of us thinks we are. this is just a bad context to throw out this sentence. shitty, really.) Don't say "well, part of it IS that you don't do that." "i just have different views than you, and i know we don't want to compromise our beliefs." and by all means -- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD -- Don't say "remember how you said he was searching for something in you that he needed to find within himself? MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM." hmmm. this is a good start. Do say "i am an asshole." repeatedly. maybe try groveling a little bit. and the next day. if you see the girl you broke. don't be an asshole. it's just not nice. today i have drug out both the bright eyes and the 3..6..9 seconds of light. and deicided. that i am. beautiful. i am. that song. and i am. fucking tired. but. i did have another cigarette, and i can smell the rebellious smoke of the contraband cylinder clinging to my corduroy jacket like a faint, sticky incense. i really like the way my chest has tightened. like i am forever ready to burst. into what, though, is the fear. i told him he made me really happy and really scared at the same time. and he spread over me like the smoke. and now. i can't get him out. i am a novice smoker who inhales without coughing, and now my heart is paying the price. misslindseylou ______________________________________________________________________________ Send a friend your Buddy Card and stay in contact always with Excite Messenger http://messenger.excite.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+