Sarah the jakey magnet wrote a fab story about a drunk misbehaving on the train to Penrith. Well, a similar thing happened to me at Glasgow Central station (unsurprisingly enough, it's a veritable haven for 'em). There I was, waiting to meet a couple of girls who were coming through from Stirlng to meet me and go to a gig. It was about 5pm on a Saturday afternoon and I decided to wait in the bar. After about ten minutes, I'd attracted the attentions of a Rab C Nesbitt type and his hideous bag lady consort. Every song that came on the jukebox, they insisted on crooning along, and clearly saw me as some kind of party pooper, sitting there reading the NME, looking vaguely sheepish. Of course, they clocked that I quite liked music and wouldn't let it go, saying stuff like, "aaaghh this ish a fucken cracker issnnit you English bassad!" when Celine Dion or somesuch came on the jukebox. Eventually I opted for an 'if you can't beat them, join them' policy and started to join in with the songs (the cold drinks might have been taking an effect at this point). In short, we bonded. I got more drinks in (syrupy lager all round) and at 6 o'clock, the girls I was supposed to be meeting were confronted with the sight of me and two pensionable jakeys slurring along to 'Crying' by Roy Orbison. Needless to say, it was a long night. "All we've done since we got here is drink wine and screw," "What do you suggest?" "Tomorrow let's pray for beer!" Martin Horsfield +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+