I think I'm going blind. Or at least my once perfect eyesight is deteriorating somewhat. And it's all your fault! Yes, you! Cause I hardly used computers much at all until I joined Sinister (which may be why I got such crappy marks at university, but that's another story etc.) but this past year or so I've spent more and more time staring at shiny screens and I don't think it's doing my eyes much good at all. Or it could be all that wanking... But lately I've been having too many of those incidents when you're walking towards someone in the street, who looks a bit like someone you know, but you're quite, although not entirely, sure it isn't them, but you have to keep looking at them just to make sure as it would be dead rude just to walk past if you did know them and by the time you've got close enough to be sure, the person, who it turns out isn't the person that you thought it might be, has noticed you staring at them and thinks that you're a mad person so starts chasing you down the street with a stick. (That was a terrifically long sentence wasn't it? If my old English teacher could read that she'd tear me arms off.) I'd imagine that a few of you are as bored as wombats with the Olympics already, but I'm going to write about them anyway. Always leave them wanting less, as would appear to be Tom Jones' motto. Wouldn't it be fun to have a motto? Carsmile spluttered: "Opening ceremonies are GRATE" I especially like some of the mad things that the commentators, more used to talking about groin strains and shin-pads, have to describe, such as how the giant blue man on stilts represents the great god Pan vanquishing the forces of evil, played by an army of Albanian dwarves. Painted orange. My all-time fave opening ceremony was the 1994 football (or soccer, for our overseas chums) World Cup in America, when Diana Ross missed an open goal from three yards out. Apparently Hibs tried to sign her in a swop deal for Joe Tortolano, but Motown were having none of it. (About 5% of you *might* get that reference. Sorry.) The rest of the Olympics is never quite as exciting, although I feel compelled to keep watching anyway, just in case the BBC plays 'The Stars of Track and Field' at any time. My bets are on a slow-motion montage after the closing ceremony. Chorus only, mind. They're bound to use it sometime. If they don't I'll damned well eat me pants. Or send them to David Coleman at least. Not for the first time, either. But he never sends me his in return, no matter how many kisses I put on my letters. Britain will be rubbish as always, one would imagine. I think they should introduce more sports traditional to these isles, to give us a better chance. Like custard pie eating, or knobbly knees contests. Or jousting, even. It might have died a death in the middle ages, but I'm sure it'd still be popular, if the lances were sharp enough. Chris Lampinen has been regaling us with tales of just how demmed sexy he is. I thought about it doing something similar, but then some of you have met me. I can still delude myself though, now that I can't see anymore... Lots of lurve Ian N. ____________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+