Hello there my sweetisterines... I see our village keeps growning.... who's gonna win the lottery for us so we can really start building it up..? I mean, after all this enthousiasm it's a pity to remain just a virtual village, isn't it? more and more and more suggestions coming up.... and the more the suggestions get the more I realise that there are so many positions to be covered... here's our U R B A N P L A N R e P o R T: Oh... hold on a sec... First of all I'd like to apologise to Jeanette as it was her idea that Peter Miller should run the porno shop and Marc C. the disco... sorry Jeanette... sorry Paula from taking this warm feeling of aknowledgement for something you haven't done from you... S O R R on our latest now... well well well... Y I can see that Rabbit Brand (tm) hasn't lost his time... as Lixi's idea of pimping Woodland Mammals seems to be so i ntr i guing yer... Kerry... will definetelly run the MicRoBioLoGy Lab of the Sinister Village... that means we're in need for doctors, nurses, pharmacists... and yes o yes, anaesthesiologists... have you ever had been anaesthesised? it's Grate... I have to say that I Luv... Valerie Solanas', LJ's, and Georgine's ScHiZopHreNia it can be really FruitFuLL, believe me... so... Valerie wants, this time, to run the AniMaL SheLtEr and the village RiDinG StaBLe... she's also spoken about alternative sources of energy for our village... I have nothing against that... quite the opposite... do you? I've onced seen this documentary with this city covered with some sort of plastic to gather solar energy... it was amazing... a bit claustrophobic though... hmmmmmmmm... Caroline (Smith) said that she'd like to run a SeCoNd HanD BooKsToRe I don't know what Laura would have to say on that... but I don't think she'd have any problem... I mean, competition is a "healthy" ingredient of a free economy isn't it?...and since, we're gonna have a close society, things could work like that: we'll buy books from Laura's, read them and then sell them to Caroline who would sell them to someone else... and so on... After checking Jen's CV, counting the hours she'd spent in the Library, etc... I think she'd be the perfect sinister LiBrAriAn... Mike Windisch... Mike wants to buy a ScOoTeR... I thought of him in a nice mod costume selling vespas and scooters in our local... "MoDs' WaYs of RidiNg" mOtOr ShoP if he has no objections about that... Michael Marucco just wants to be a DisHwaSHeR and draw things... All you have to do Michael is charge your services as a dishwasher really high and go from the one restaurant to the other washing the dishes as I don't think that anyone would be in a washing the dishes mood... Alix C. the mammal pimp... wow! that sounds cool!!! also suggested that PamB should be hairdresser and MartinR could be the weird person who is convinced he rules the fish people. FisH PeoPle RuLe... and we need a netball team... aPPliCatIoNs, pleAse... Robert Foster made my mouth foamy with all this talk of him being the sinister MiLkMaN Robin will definetelly be the sinister WiNdOWCleAnEr... with his sinister intentions though, I think the villagers' windows would be always DiRtY... mmmmmmmm... Now Christa will have the coolest ReCoRd StOrE talking of which here's something that has just hit me: are we going to have any sinister M*O*N*E*Y? what should be our mean of exchange/trading? how are we going to buy our records and food and pay Lixi for the use of her mammals... blimey... money... I think we should follow Bakounin's theory in that... we should just excange things... I mean Laura would need some fresh milk from Robert and she can give him a book in exchange... or Christa will definetelly need her windowns cleaned so Robin can take some records, and so on... and ON... and On... MaSSaGe ParLoUR many people applied for this position... mmmmm I wonder why... why indeed.... Paul Field said he'd like to give massages and he's got magic FiNgErS... his only problem was what he was going to do if he had to give massages to people he wouldn't like... so... I thought that we can use more that one masseurs... and there you go... I proudly present you with the people whose fingers are gonna make your aching bodies MELT... Chris Brown who's really busy with his non-sinister bizness and asked me to give you all his greetings... said he's missed you all.... mmmmm and... AdAm Apparatus is your third masseur... all 3 guys have been tested in really hard conditions and proved that they really do have magic fingers and they can be excellent masseurs... CeRtiFiEd...* G * Adam Chapman wants to run the sinister BuS SeRviCe yer... with all this talk about buses etc... well... he has to try his very best... Adam...?? My dearest mod Rob the Pelican... will run the TeA PlaNtAtiOnS I've never seen a mod in charge of a tea plantation, but in a PoP! AnArcHy "environment" all is P O S S I B L E and most likely to happen... Simon A. offered to create the sinister village site YEY!!! No Objections to that... Grace... I'm not sure but I think that there are some corner-shops in sinisterville... but I really don't think that this is a problem... there are going to be lots of corners anyway... RiGhT? Samantha, being sensitive and sweet, thought that there should be a WiG ShOp for those sinister villagers who are lacking in hair... I wonder why nobody's thought of that before... motto should be: don't take your hair for granted!!! Genevieve wants to become a sinister legend and be the LaDy of the LaKe who would saduce poor, innocent sinistermen under the moonlight... no objections to that... every city needs its myths and legends, right? Genevieve seems to have the qualities to become one... yer... Emily or Melissa Thornton (any relation to NME's editor?) wants to run the GNOME ADOPTION AGENCY AND ORPHANAGE GnOmEs, oRpHaNs... interesting concepts... Paul Arathoon wants to be a FooTbAll PlaYer yer, sure Paul... if you're half as good as Zola I'd be your most devoted fan... Alasdair's being wondering why he's a teacher... well, I don't really know... It's just something my instict told me...delete buttons? yey... Martin Robinson had scared the hell out of us talking about germs and antibiotics... then, he suggested that he should be the sinister HeAltH iNsPeCtoR mmmm... I think that's fair enough... Cris-t-opher wants to run a RecOrD ShoP as well... so watch out Christa... you have to be more competitive... St.Lucy wants to run the sinister BeD & BreAkFasT and I have to say that her image in one of these robs, tidying up messed up beds and talking to herself, made me smile and also gave me unholy thoughts such as what would I do to shock her when she comes to tide up my bed... the morning after... as I'm really considering marriage with a certain person, I think we should forget our honeymoon in Vegas and go to Lucy's Bed & Breakfast instead... what do you think love? Di (ipecap spice) + Rob Brennan + Colin Mowat all these caring, loving souls have different views on how a mental hospital should function... I liked the idea of tea and cakes for treating mental diseases and kebabs for more serious, chronic situations.... yer, I think you can all cooperate in out Mental Hospital using your alternative methods of treament and experiment on us poor sinisteriennes... I mean, that's what PsYcHiAtRY all about anyway... Jason Cutler wants to be the sinister HaNdYmAn and Steve C. wants to have a BasKetBalL TeAm ... c'mon tall sinisterinnes... do JoIn... Sweet Fiona... will be in charge of the loCaL CouNcelliNG SeRviCe and dont' you dare telling me is something we don't need... we most certainly do... a lot of fighting and quareling goes on in the sinister land lately... harassments, hypocritical attacks, all these need to be sorten out... and the guilty ones... watch out... your punishment will be really harsh... Matthew Smith's offered to be the village's CaBbIe cabbies can be really cool... you should watch it with your mirrors though Matty... you're very indiscrete sometimes... yer... Dave (David Strange Strange) had demonstrated an amazing ability in reporting... I think, yes, he'll be our very own RePoRteR and he can cooperate with Mark from Nottingham who'll be in charge of the local RaDiO StatiON and who promised that he'd play music based only to your requests... he has no other choice anyway... Alexander Borgia had spread the rumour... of me not intending to become a spinster... and he instantly made me think of a Stephen Merritt's song AgiNG SpiNstErS I do certainly not have an intention of becoming a spinster... who's gonna rock my chair and bring me pink lemonade when I'd be old and look like a frog? As I've said before... I'm considering marriage with a certain someone and we're gonna have our honeymoon in St.Lucy's B&B... how can I not provide Lucy with hot gossip to spread around...? that'd be at least criminal...!!! God!! that was soooooo lonnnnnnnnngggggggg... I'm so sorry... not entirelly my fault though... I have to go now... but not before I tell you that I've finished the SiNiSteR TrAcK TaPe from my DJing session and all I need are the addresses of people who'd requested a song and still haven't sent me their snail-mail address... for those who would like a copy as well... apply now... it's your last chance... another thing is that I was trying very hard to figure out what I should do in the sinister village... I've come up with the idea of a SiNiStEr GaLLeRy with all the portraits of sinister people... I'd be in charge of the Gallery and I'd also paint the portraits! Alexander Borgia can help me in his spare time... I'm telling you he's darn good in stretching canvass...!!! and in case you're wondering, my kick boxing lessons are going pretty well... Master George is a very Strict coach I have to warn you... He makes me do all these weird things.... worst of all he keeps screaming instructions to me while brushing his teeth with this buzzing toothbrush which seems to have this obsession with G.Parsons songs... it's awful as I can't really understand what he's saying and do all wrong things... then he has this "vice" of making me kick and punch the boxing shack while he plays all his CARPENTER RECORDS... It's a torment... I can tell you that... but... as ancient greeks said "no pain no drain"... HaH... that's it... please do help Simon with his site... love + bon bons V.F. XXX O ____________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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