It's that time of the year again. I've looked everywhere. It is now official. This entire city has run out of my cigarettes. I'm a bit upset about that. I just don't know what to do. My grandfather was in town this weekend. I went with him to the Pensacola Naval Aviation museum today. I like planes, but I just couldn't shake this awful feeling, like they were trying to sell me something. I don't know. It all reeks of propaganda. Am I too cynical? He told me some interesting things about my mom as well. Her current life anyway. I know so little about my mother, and she lives only five minutes away. It's funny how, growing up, people can seem so indestructible, so noble, so perfect. I always saw my mom like that. I recall when I knew my father was less than perfect, and when they were divorced, I just assumed it was my father's fault, and my mother was an innocent victim. However, in the past few months, I have noticed some interesting slips in her personality. She always puts on this whole fake persona for me, which I guess makes sense. My father told me she smokes this past christmas, and my sister thought I was an idiot for not knowing. Am I just trying to cover it up? It doesn't really bother me, and I haven't really thought about it much, but I do find it interesting. Now I come to find out that she's been fucking some married guy. This reeks of trouble. She also called up my dad's fiancee and went off on her for using him for his money and whatever. My mother, the epitome in my life of control, is slipping. I suppose it's slightly damaging to my psyche in some way. I don't know. It only seems to make me more cynical about people and the world around me. First, one finds out the government actually <gasps> lies, and to an insane degree. Next, the parents get divorced and one's hopes for true love and blah blah blah are shattered. Anyway, the list goes on and on. I find it fascinating to try to go back and trace the major plot points of my life that developed me as the person I am now. I was watching Seinfeld today, and Jerry began showing emotions. "what is this salty discharge?" I haven't really felt that salty discharge in a while. I have a feeling it is all going to come flooding back though. Later. A lot later. In more exciting news, I read Andrew's post about going to Glasgow, and he mentioned Stevie's welcoming students to Glasgow. Since I'm going in March (10-14 ladies and germs, line up to meet me!), and I have nothing really to do there (aside from hopefully meeting up with a few extra lovely sinisters), I think I might just follow it. Why not I say. Oh, and sweetie, avert your eyes, I'm going to talk about gigs. It seems me and my trusty sidekick are taking a mother road trip (for us, anyway) and driving to Detroit, then Chicago, then Atlanta. Aaah, it feels nice to be obsessed with something. It almost gives me a sense of purpose. Anyhow, I hope to see a few of you there. What is it about doughnuts? This powerful force that drives me to get out of bed in the middle of the night, drive down to Krispy Kreme, pull up to that drive thru, and order two tasty chocolate covered creme filled doughnuts. MMMM. I'm getting hungry. My lovely friend Sara sent me my first ever mixtape! It's terribly exciting and addicting. Now I see the true brilliance in Laura's Mix Tape Challenge. I think I caught a Sudden Death (the Van Damme one) reference in the game NHL 2002 the other day. I can't confirm it, but I'm relatively sure. Last item. A friend of mine (who will read this) went on a date of sorts Saturday night. He came over at about 1:30 and as he walked in the door, the first thing he said was "she's a fucking creed fan." But apparently she's quite hot, so I asked him if he would continue seeing her. "I don't know, it would sort of just be for shallow reasons." This leads to a practical question. One asked many many many times before, but is hot tail worth listening to Creed? Or at least associating with someone who likes Creed? A boy band/spears fan is alright. They find it fun. But a creed fan, she must find something stimulating on an 'intellectual' level from it. Is this a bad sign? Also, I had a cheesy 80's lovesong mix cd, but I can't find it. I need to make a new one, but BETTER. One that I could play at a party, and perhaps slow dance with mandee to. ;) Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Signing off, -Matt _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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