Dear Sinister, I´ve been a member since a couple of months ago but this is the first time i write something......don´t know why I haven´t written before.....anyway, know it feels like i don´t have anyone i really can talk because noone really understands me and nobody cares (ok my mother), but it feels like none of my friends understands me and i don´t really want to tell everything because it´s so f***ing hard to talk about feelings....i think it´s embarrassing and so because i´m let down again and again and i feel like a big mistake. Ok, it´s a guy....we´ve known each other for over a year and i´ve been in love with him all the time. We were going out for a couple of months now this automn but it turned out bad for me....he left me and i miss him so much....it really aches inside and today i´m so down......this is one of those really bad days. Yesterday was ok, but today it´s bad. Some days are better and you feel really strong and think that you can go on without him (he was a pig anyway and doesn´t deservs you)......but then the next day you feel so weak and miss him so much. I don´t know what to do....i´m just waiting for time to pass so i can forget him....because everyone says that you will forget him after a while....time goes by and you will forget him.....but it feels like time just passes by and my feelings don´t change a bit....they just go stronger and i long to see him....so how long must i wait? I just want him to come back to me....even though he has treated me really bad....cause i can´t go on without him. I want.....i want so much that i can´t have.....it´s like to wish impossible things....to wish impossible things......the only thing i can put my trust into now are these great bands in the world....like b&s, cure, a couple of swedish bands etc....who sing about those feelings i have inside.....then i feel a little bit better because i´m not alone in the world to feel this down..... Anyway, i just felt for writing a little.....and actually it feels a little bit better....a little bit.......i should try to get some sleep now (after watching the telly for a while) because i have to go to work again tomorrow..... Thank´s for reading this....if you came that far.... / love em from sweden _________________________________________________________________ Bli förälskad på MSN Dejting http://www.msn.se/dejting/default.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+