hello my dark-yet-shiny-stars, as dear, dear erica was kind enough to notice, i have been absent from the shores of that virtual island we castaways like to call sinister for some time. i'm afraid i went paddling in the waters of real life and got bitten by a crisis-shark that was crusing in the shallow waters. it pulled me far, far out to sea and it was only with the help of a gaggle of passing vodka-fuelled dolphins that i was able to make it back to the beach... and the beach is so beautiful, i will stay and bask for a while. just one question.. where the FUCK IS LEONARDO DI CAPRIO? yeah, a mile of sand is all very bloody well and a few friggin trees oh-so-dreamily waving their fronds in the tropical breeze is great i'm sure but i wanna get my rocks off. i've been here nearly 2 hours now and still i haven't been rogered by a bronzed blonde adonis...what the buggery bollocks is going on? oh. erm...hi....the gay dirty den is back. so...down to business....alasdair, get your kecks down and bend over! oh no, that wasn't what i meant to say at all..i think its that sea-water in my head.. the lovely mr cook said:

Anyway, well done to the Manic Street Preachers for getting to number one without the use of any cynical marketing ploys, oh no. What we need is more po-faced sloganeering at the top of the charts, that's what I say. Vive la revolution!

quite so. "a slave begins by demanding freedom and ends by wanting to hold the whip".... was it me, or was that song a bunch of pretentious bollocks? oh, silly question, it was a manics song.. and whilst we're on the subject of revolutions, i saw something very bizarre the other sunday morning. crawling out of bed to face the day, i was greeted by that strange sunday am entertainment programme with the drop-dead-have-me-here-slap-me-on-the-patio-i'll-take-it-slow presenter. if you've seen it, you know the one i mean...and what were they featuring? ben from a1 singing tracy chapman's "talking 'bout a revolution"? how strange. has trying to write lyrics with political meaning become absolutely meaningless when a boyband can sing about organised violent revolt on an entertainment programme? it seems so. face it boys, come the revolution you'll be first against the wall..... although you won't be getting shot.. i was also very taken by robert foster's subject line:

Sarah Cracknell - I want to be Sarah Cracknell

well my love, your wish is my command. i will take you home and lock you in my cellar. remember to shout every once in a while or i might forget you're there. onto other matters...my friends, i am concerned. it seems that we have a criminal in our midst. i am sorry to have to break this news do you know who it is? i think you do. examine your consciences everybody...are they clean? (are they really?) (no....fuckin really? NO WAY.....time you did something really BAD then) erm what was i saying? oh yes..it saddens me to have to point this out but sarah clarke must be brought to justice. oh yes, my dear, you know what you have done. several weeks ago a small pottery pterodactyl came flying your way and has not been seen since. i have had spies watching you, and they tell me there are muffled squawks coming from your freezer. you are RUMBLED! just WHAT were you planning anyway? people don't EAT pterodactyls, they're an endangered species yknow. sort of like anne widdecombe but prettier. set it free my love, set it free with a poem and let it fly...otherwise i shall have to punish you. and you don't want to be punished by the gay dirty den. and proclamations like * Toilet Duck forever! do not count. although it does get into all the nooks and crannies. finally, jarkko quoted the following: . WBC has determined to send a >missionary team to Helsinki next

Summer to >preach to those depraved >sinners in religious protest and warning, with Gospel singing and >signs: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, AIDS CURES FAGS, FAGS DIE >GOD LAUGHS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, etc. REPENT! WBC

these people really have no idea what faith is. faith is about love. its not about differentiating yourself from others, its about seeing the humanity in us all. i think jesus (if the guy existed) summed it up pretty well when he said "judge not, that you be not judged". having said that, the fact that people think like this challenges my faith in humanity. i'd like to believe that every person is important and has something good to offer the world, but when you hear things like this its hard to avoid the conclusion that there are some people that the world would simply be better off without. as my friend amrit once put it "ian..... some people HAVE no redeeming features" oh, that wasn't very dirty den was it? no, no, no...i'm out of practice at this business.. never stopped looking, never stopped looking for le-e-eo..(looking out for leoo) god, my arse is sore. very clean ian ---------------------- "dreams are just like wine and i am drunk on mine" mama cass +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+