hello sinister i've decided to come out of hiding for several reasons. reason #1: if i may be so bold, i'd like to say that "swing your cock around" is hilarious. thank you, mark waudby. i had my own addition earlier today, but i forgot it. all i can come up with is "screwing other people," which really isn't that clever, now is it? there's always "you made me forget my panties," which isn't so great, either. sorry. how about "if you're feeling my sister"? the problem is, so many of them are dirty out of context already. case in point: the boy with the arab strap, don't leave the light on, baby, me and the major (or, as once misheard, "me and the midget), seeing other people, judy is a dick slap, and the list goes on and on and on and on . . . and you can only insert "wanking" into so many before it gets old. reason #2: i'm so disillusioned. do you want to know why i'm disillusioned? because i saw a chrysler ad tonight playing the jesus and mary chain's "happy when it rains". bah, that sucks. reason #3: tonight while walking my dog (why does this always make me want to post?) i decided to wear my nifty faux fur coat and since the only shoes by the door were my platform boots, i wore those, too. so what could i listen to but gary glitter "do you wanna touch me there," which has a perfect glam R!A!W!K! beat for walking in platform boots while wearing a faux fur coat. but then, oh then, i forgot that the next song on my mp3 player is tindersticks "if you're looking for a way out" which was bad enough being so depressing (yet so good, i couldn't skip through it), but it made me miss school. well, it made me miss driving from western massachusetts to philadelphia via the bronx because the last time i did that i was stuck in this nasty nasty traffic and that song (actually, that whole album) played while i sat in my car, occasionally creeping forward a few yards. so that made me miss my friend steve, from school. you see, some time before that steve had a tumultuous relationship with a girl who worked in the aquatic birds area of the bronx zoo. so, sitting in my car, listening to sad love songs, right next to the exit for the zoo, i was about 3 micrometers away from getting off the highway, finding the zoo, and kicking her ass for being so mean to him. so i wanted to post to sinister to vent. so now i have. reason #4: i'm happy, because people i work with like belle and sebastian. the only problem is, they have no clue what i'm talking about when i say "twattybus," because they're not on sinister, and i forget that sometimes. so then i feel awkward and dumb and that's really too bad. and i'm mad at the NME (am i the only person who realizes that if you say "NME" fast enough it sounds like "enemy"? i've been meaning to mention that to somebody somewhere for years) for making remarks about belle and sebastian not having put out an album in a long time. what?!?! was i dreaming when they put out FYHCYWLAP last spring? did i sleep for several years or something? ahhhhhh, fuck 'em. here's a joke: a man and a woman are at a party, having a nice conversation. somehow the conversation turns to beekeeping. the man says "oh, i keep bees." the woman says "really? where do you keep them?" "in my apartment," he says. "in your apartment?" the woman says, astonished. "where do you keep them in your apartment? you were just saying that you live in some cramped studio in manhattan." "i keep them in my closet," the man says. "in your closet?! that can't be good for the bees," the woman says. so, the man responds: "fuck 'em, i hate bees." i love that joke. and even without the joke, this post took me well over 15 minutes to write. oh, and last but not least, i love you honey, for being so good at everything. you've made me forget my dreams, for at least a little while, -kerry -- "`Cos in my sleep I still clench my teeth I'm at my strongest only when I'm weak" -tindersticks, "piano song." +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+