Drums. Did I ever tell you when, growing up on a farm, our creek would often overflow during a torrential downpour and my brother, sister and I used to go DIY white-water rafting down it on pool floaties? No? Oh. It was dangerous. And so, SO much fun. So, despite the occasional hankering for the warm delights of home, living in Blighty is a continual stream of joy due to the almost continual stream of nature's love juice and the fun you can have with it. There are, of course, the usual delights associated with rain - splashing in puddles, standing still with your head tilted back, mouth open drinking fresh rainwater, staying in and snuggling. but personally, the BEST thing about rain, is the way it inspires pop artists and more importantly, pop video directors. Of course, I'm not talking about those clichéd video clip shots of an artist looking all melancholy out a window whilst the rain beats down outside, beating in a way that reminds them of the time their heart beat that fast, mocking the "my heart's been attacked by a cheese grater, then dipped in molasses and fed to the horses by, sigh, THE ONE" pain that they feel now. Isn't it sad? Doesn't she look pretty singing her song, despite being the hollow shell of the girl she was before. Isn't she /such/ a tortured artist therefore making her inane lyrics seem mildly profound? Incidentally, are artists actually tortured or indeed starving these days? All the ones I come into contact with who are STRUGGLING ARTISTS (copy write) still manage to pay £800/month rent for a room on Old St. I like them. Rather, I like making amusing comments about their hair cuts under my breath as we air kiss. NO! I'm talking about sexy rain. The kind of rain in film clips that provides teenage boys with one handed pleasure after viewing (Sabrina's Boys, Boys, Boys - oh, but she's in a pool. But it's water [which comes from the sky - gosh!] so close enough.) The kind of rain that makes young girls want to BE in the film clips with the singers. Case in point, Ash's "Goldfinger". Mark Hamilton vigorously makes out with a girl whilst the rain is, raining, all over them. It's totally lustastic and makes me giddy with delight. As does Take That's "Relight My Fire" where, for the first time ever I briefly toyed with the idea of moving my allegiance from Mark over to Jason Orange. Simply 'cos he was getting' all wet with a girl in the shower. He looked good. Which was as surprising as it was sexy. That is, a little. I wish Belle and Sebastian would make film clips in the rain. WET T-SHIRTS, yo! Lyrically, rain has inspired some of the greats to pen a ditty or four. Can you say, "It's Raining Men"; "The Raining King and Queen"; "Here comes the RAINdeer section - Anthem of a sodden youth" and; "I'm gonna come down like a thunderbolt on yo' ass, showering you with slammin disses while you talk to muh HAND soggy boy!" My own personal favourite is, of course, Milli Vanilli's "Blame it on the Rain". Their follow up single "Don't forget my number" is pretty great too. I remember that well from earlier this evening when I watched it on my Smash Hits Party 89 video tape. There's a plot and everything! Rob (or Fab) is a playa and gets the number of a hottie. He then goes home and tries to call her, but as he does, Fab (or Rob) walks in and the note (with number) flies out the window. Cue a mad and often hilarious romp around London IN THE RAIN to find the digits. Oh, and they're sporting Lycra bike pants, thumbing their noses and have choreographed dance/jumping about like loons moves. Aren't they great? I like my men the way I like my Milli Vanilli: stylish, crazy dancing buffoons whose words belong to someone else. Gosh. In fact. Realisation. I like myself the way I like my Milli Vanilli too. Making out in the rain and not caring that it's ruining her coiffure, Miss Marianna Longmire xXx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+