Sinister: The Impending Spider of Wonder and Grateness
Hewwo, Guess what? You'll never believe it. It's the best thing in the whole world bar nothing. Guess what my mum says I can have...? A spider (!). How grate is that? I love spiders. I've loved them since I was six and I had a little garden spider in a jar and its name was Lucky the Magic Spider and it did tricks and it crawled up one of my sleeves and out the other. It lived in a jamjar with its friend which was a worm called violet (because I call everything Violet. It's my favourite name to call things). But then one day he vanished. My brother says the worm ate him but I know what really happened. See Lucky decided he didn't like flatsharing because Violet drank all the milk in the fridge and never hoovered, so he used his magic powers to turn himself invisible and he let himself out the backdoor with one of those bundles on a stick that had two cheese sandwiches and a bottle of ribena (spider size) and he went off to have adventures in my back garden where he continues to live a long happy life, possibly with another girl spider. My mum says why do I want a spider, shouldn't I get a little furry thing like a hamster. But there are enough people in the world to look after hamsters. More people need to buy pets that not everyone likes. In fact, people should always buy stuff thats old or worn or a bit lopsided or not as pretty as other things, to love it and give it a home. If you only buy things that are nice is like going out with a posse girl. She's nice and all, to look at and stuff, and the more you pay for her the nicer she'll be to you, but she's never going to love you like someone who's scruffy. Or something. I don't know. Johnjohn's post was nice. It reminded me of the time I found a baby bird that was injured and it hopped off the bush it was on and into my hand and it pecked at my gummi bears then died. It couldn't have been more like an episode of that really old program and the theme tune was about a tree that got struck by lightning. It went like "down in the meadow where the wind grows free in the middle of a field stands the lightning tree, it's limbs all torn from the day it was born for the tree was born in a thunder storm" and there was a farm in it. I liked the lightning tree because it was cool. It never gave up no matter what. Even though it got hit by lightning the second it came into the world it never thought "I'll just curl up and be bitter." or "I'll just die". It wanted to grow and stretch out, even though it grew up and people thought it was odd and ugly and different it never stopped thinking the world was magical and special and that there was a place for it somewhere. I've got a friend who moans about his life all the time. He's always complaining about being fat, or loud or too soft with women or how some girl doesn't fancy him. But he never does anything to change himself even though he's not happy. He just comes in and sits down and mopes and wallows like a big depressed hippopotamus and he goes on the internet all the time instead of going out and seeing the world with all the trees and the flowers and the electrical pylons that look like space age castles for chess people and it mokes me off. In my next life I'm planning on being a tapdancer. It's probably a handy skill. I wanted to be a cheerleader but when I was the right age for it I was too obese and now I'm just too old. I don't feel old though. And I don't have any wrinkles yet even though I made it to a whole 16 years. But I do have some cool scars. Wanna see? Hugs, Jen +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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JENOWL22@aol.com