okay so i've mixed a little radiohead in with my b&s for the subject title... is that a crime? oh well, i've done it. ********** have you ever forgotten yourself before? like, oops! well shiot, i knew i left her (him) somewhere around here...now if only i could remember what she (he) looks like so i can find her (him)... dammit. alright, well i'm sure she'll (he'll) show up sometime... the loud perversity with which i exclaimed how much i lovel myself has gotten me all twisted up and then it's like, well sure i can't get enough of how cool it is to be me and then while warped in my inner distraction i found the most contorted-barely-strummin-being i've ever dared to set eyes on...and then she whispered somethin in my ear incomprehensible.....and then she disappeared. yeah that would have been my withered ego that i chose to falsify for a healthier one of sorts for my own benefit. i wonder what it is i loved so much? and if any of what i assumed was inside of me really ever existed in the first place... it's like all those doors let me in and out, but never opened. it's like i was one of those kids meltin in the doorway but just had to keep the gang together... ya know? and now it's kinda like... here i go! like, here is this road. there's some crap around the edges to try and trip me up, but if i just focus on this road, well then... i can start walkin down it and not worry about all the cars zoomin 80 miles per hour past my slowly-thinning body... and i'll eventually make out the road signs and i'll just keep walkin and maybe just maybe one day, i'll figure out where i am. it's just as if a person were to stay inside a building all day they'd never know where the building really was in relation to other buildings or even what part of the city they were in... it's like, maybe one day i'll remember where i am, and more importantly, who i am, and why i am who i am, and where to go next. *********** somebody tell me if figuring out inner conflicts and then posting them is list abuse. if it is, i'll stop. peace and lighter warmer days to come to you sinister, ----your mountain mama sweetheart X ***Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right*** ---Jerry. http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+