Dearest Sinister, Three overnight guests, an unfortunate event, one dirty hippie, and a stilted roadtrip to Montreal were required of me to fill this post for your innocent entertainment. It has been a few days since I have last seen a Sinisterine. Things, since then, have not gone well with me. I went from a place with a lounging London boy to a place where there was no lounging London boy, and from a place with a full bottle of Scotch to a place where there is no Scotch. That is to say, from the comfort of my cozy home to a family vacation. Before I left, I had two weeks of sinister filled fun with guests including: *The Boy "Screw Jim Gilmer - I'm the one who is so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis & if I keep up this addiction to Fuddruckers' hamburgers I'm going to have trouble seeing over my stomach as I will be HOKEY CHUBBYLICIOUS, baby" G *Jay "Un(der)employed" Nagy *Kirk"mmm Cheerwine"Us and *Jay "All I want is a vaguely Byronic underwear model who can play Chopin and discuss Descartes while making a chocolate martini - Is this too much to ask?!" Eckerd. All but the latter allowed themselves to be lured into staying several days at my hostile hostel. It was a relief that I didn't have to resort to my usual threats of grappling hooks and truck drivers named Earl to convince them they really did want to stay. After three years on this list and reading a multitude of reports back from picnics and days o red knickers, I finally have been to such. I've met members from Sinister before. The first time I met someone from here I broke out in hives beforehand, the second I fell down a long flight of steps the day of and bruised myself over my entire body (many parts which I didn't know were in existence before the incident), the third meeting I hadn't slept for weeks prior and was reduced to incoherent drivel, the fourth one I spilled chemicals on my face leaving brutal marks and appearing as scarface, and after that I've blocked it out and it can't be recalled without the use of hypnosis and dancing midgets. Suffice it to say, I didn't think I would ever make it to a Sinister gathering without some accident occurring which would make me wish I had taken out that large insurance policy. It was lucky that I escaped unscathed. We had a smallish gathering at the bookstore in South Carolina on Sunday a couple of weeks ago. There were 13 in attendance (5 sinisters, 1 Miss Flannery, & variously imported bookshop girls and the like) , one tombstone cake, undrunk wine, suspiciously colored water, and plenty of pictures taken. However, I suck at websites so I haven't put them on-line anywhere. Mr. Un(der)employed has some photos of the surrounding areas at http://www.jaynagyphoto.com/North%20Carolina.html Sadly, the goat wasn't in attendance. Actual pictures of people have been cut up, made into terrifying collages, and used in puppet shows which are now touring the nation. My other thought concerning sinister gatherings was how everyone's post-posts always painted things and people as picturesque. No one ever has a bad time, was shamelessly hit on by some heinous halitosis pretentious prick, or couldn't get anyone to say more than two words to them. However, I - *I* was going to be the one to unveil the hideous underbelly of Sinister while employing hideous grammar no less. Oh yes. Show it as it really is - exposing the seedy side that everyone else keeps quiet. No such luck. Once I shivered and stated I was cold and one of the sinister boys fetched me (the supposed hostess) a blanket. Others graciously helped me out with moving things at the bookstore, one gave me an ace Johnny Cash record, and there were numerous other acts of kindness. Plus, I thoroughly adored all of them and thought they were neurotically charming and hysterically witty. The bastards! O Perfidy, thy name is sinister boys! I grow too faint with frustration to continue. It is a dreadful thing, at such a moment, to have absolutely no one at all to be irritate in such a manner, but I shall post this immediately and it shall be somewhat the same. I remain, in the meantime, Yours, as always Laura PS - Yes, along with Eugenides'"Middlesex", I read some Sarah Caudwell on my trip and it has affected me tremendously. Curse Laurel & Brian of the trendy New York set. Heavens knows I didn't need any more encouragement toward verbiosity. PPS - It is not my fault that The Boy G is addicted to Dennys as well so don't even try to blame me. PPPS - For those of you who didn't get to go to the Atlanta b&s gig just go to http://sorehead.org/jd/ and have a lookie at Bernard. Trust me, that's exactly how Stu-ey boy looked. He's *so* cabanaboyerrific. _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+