That, I found in the FAQ about the list.It reads: "It's a very special list - not a "resource for fans", but a community of people who love the music of Belle and Sebastian, and who usually love each other, often ending up in each others underwear too. " I used it to draw your attention; and because it seems funny and quite true; also because it says something about what I have to say. A few days ago, on the beach at Benicassim, I remembered the sunny May afternoon I joined the list. I decided to join when I came across the phrase "this is a mailing list about Belle and Sebastian, and about the lives of the people who like them" -or something like that. Where I come from, all May afternoons are sunny; this one, it was in the middle of rather grey and unhappy period of my life, when things seemed to be getting better but felt like they were getting worse (and actually were). I was missing Belle and Sebastian, the feeling about them...(the last album being eleven months ago and the next single a month ahead, not having anyone to share that feeling with -cause for my greek friends, Belle and Sebastian are "that band Dimitra is obsessed with"). So I thought the posts should feel like the songs, and i joined. I hadn't realised that would mean getting at least ten posts a day. I got quite excited. And more and more involved. I read all posts carefully. I had to beg my brother let me use the computer long enough to do that. I starting going on #sinister too -and had to beg for more time. There I started getting to know some people...and then crazy things started happening. As most things I considered important at the time was falling apart, I found myself on a train to a small (greek) town, then at its station, waiting for half an hour for a girl I'd never met before...and being sure all along she'd come. She did. And it was worth it. I had a great time. And it was just the beggining of it: it was the day things started changing for better. I had to re-invent myself in a way, to find new things to consider important. And I was so lucky as to have the chance to get on a plane and go do it elsewhere... and not just anywhere...a few days later I was travelling towards what I considered the magic land, home of the best band in the world and of Sinister... I found myself on a plane, then on some trains, then in a railway station in London, waiting for another girl I'd never met before. And it was okay -I just new there was something about it all that was right. I spend a day in London,where I tried in vain to track down a certain listee who had invited me to a party. I did manage to talk to him on the phone though, and it was a magical moment. Just because it was a sweet night and he picked it up after fifty times, when I least expected him to...well, maybe because he was nice too. Then, Sunday came, and I got a train to Scotland... where I spend what must have been the most happy days of my life. I mean it. I stayed with Belle the list puppy -and the people who live with her (and with a hamster and three guineapigs). I remember climbing up a hill with them and looking at Dundee from above... also running in a vast green field...also drinking and getting tipsy if not anything more,and walking in the rain...(hamster and giuneapigs not included). It was mostly sunny though. I spend a day in Edinburgh with Will... We wandered around,walked Princess street up and down about fifteen times, lied in three different parks, went to two different pubs...oh and climbed up the Walter Scott monument...Will thought he was useless (at least for a moment he did)- but I think he was great! We managed to get to the station on time, so I got a train back to Dundee. Next day I went to Glasgow. And it was so lovely I don't know what to say about it. Richard showed me a lot of things he could think of, but he forgot to show me Stuart's church. We sat in three different pubs but only lied down in a patch of grass by the river Clyde. We walked along many streets but not a the same one more than twice. We even drove around a little for some obscure reason. And we even found ourselves in the wrong lane opposite a bus -but it all felt so great (not the bus but everything else) that only the Smiths could have talked about it. I didn't get a train back to Dundee, I spend the night on some very kind people's sofa. The next day was Belle and Sebastian day, so we went to North Berwick to celebrate that. I won't say much cause what happened to the picnic is a secret (that most people know probably...anyway). Just imagine ten people looking quite strange and rather twee, and a dog, standing in a circle in the Edinburgh Waverley station, the people looking shy, trying not to catch each others eye and being really quiet, the dog looking bored cause she didn't get much attention. That's how it started. What I have to say is that I loved it, I had a great time, the best I can ever remember having, especially after the point it started to rain...near the end, i felt the urge to give my favourite tape to a beatiful boy... That night will be the one I will remember every time I feel miserable on a Saturday night (that is probably every seven days) and Edinburgh will be the place I will be wishing I were. After all that I went to Spain, stopping at Milton Keynes to meet everyone's favourite listee Ken Chu... who is as lovely and twee as one can be...(Kenny please get insulted by that). When we left there, I was missing him too along with everyone I had made friends with in Scotland. I remember jumping up and down when I read he found a job. I've been to Benicassim and I've seen Belle and Sebastian, but I won't bother you with that. I discovered I don't like festivals so I didn't enjoy it much. Apart from the time we saw a boy with Belle and Sebastian badges on a beach and run after him shouting "excuse me, are you on sinister?". It prooved he was -and it also prooved that's a nice way of making friends even in crazy places. We ended up getting drunk outside his tend the last day of the festival with people from eight different countries. And the next day, playing football after midnight outside the railway station in Valencia, then sleeping on the pavement. I know this is far too long, but please excuse me, I had to say this. All this. I had to, because since that night I've stopped feeling sad or scared: I feel happy just watching the world around me unravel, discovering it with the amazement and the joy of a four-year-old ;and also certain that it will all be okay. I had to, because I left a piece of my heart in Scotland: I've been missing it since the day I crossed the border (!) and it seems as I will be till the day I come back. I hope it won't be too far away. Me and Rachel, we were thinking we should thank Honey for creating the list and therefor making it possible for all these things to happen. So I did one of these days, and she said "I didn't make the list, you all did". So I thank you all. Everyone who invited me anywhere, or who put me up, or showed me around their city or helped me out; and also everyone who bought me a drink, or anything else -and Chris especially for giving me his badge. And everyone who's been lovely to me, especially those who shared their gelly beans with me. Finally, everyone out there who cares for the list and believes in it.And everyone who has read this so far. (Write me and I'll send you a present) Love,and keed the faith, Dimitra ps I was in a church the day before yesterday, and people where chanting and praying at it felt great, so I tried to pray too, and I realised the only words that were strong enough inside me were lyrics. I found myself singing Fox In The Snow. Someone said that I was singing it to god -and that if he was listening he must have loved it. ____________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Αποκτήστε τη δωρεάν @yahoo.gr διεύθυνση σας στο http://www.otenet.gr +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+