Hello Sinisterines! rockin' Rrrobyn said: <<i saw mum last night>> I saw mum last week. And dad, too. They're alright, you know. Dad's been doing a bit of wallpapering, and mum's runner beans are looking fantastic... Seriously, I think múm are okay, but I'm a bit annoyed that I went off and bought the album after hearing their last single on the radio. It's a case of the single being better than the whole of the rest of the album, I think, and I should have payed more attention to the girl in the record shop who told me exactly the same when I bought it. It's not bad, just a bit wallpapery. And as we know, wallpaper is for dads. ++ In the birthday spirit, I've been looking at a few ink polaroids. Here's the oldest one I could find: Here's Ailsa and Kevan and Arantxa and me, in chalet number 650. Everyone's looking a little suprised and confused because they've never met before. Well, in Ailsa's case the expression's more drunk and confused, and she's holding a glass of what I think was called String Bean Gin. There are other people here too, on the sofabed in the background, but they've been a bit smudged by beer drops or tear drops, I don't know which. A lot happened that night before the polaroid had a chance to dry. ++ Lucy and Mark were talking about SPIDERS! Well, my job involves looking at patent applications and occasionally someone comes across one that’s funny and emails it to everyone. The other day a girl who works in the baths, showers and toilets department found a mini ladder with a suction pad which sticks to the inside of a bath so that spiders can climb out in safety. Aww! It’s so sweet! Here’s an artist's impression of the spider ladder at work in a dramatic spider rescue! 1. |_| |_| <=ladder | | * <=scared spider (O) <=plughole 2. |_| |*| <=spider in dramatic rescue action |¯| <=ladder (O) <=plughole 3. * <=happy spider! |_| |_| <=ladder | | (O) <=plughole hooray! ++ Do you ever think of funny things to say just when it’s too late? This is what happened to me today, when I met Paul outside the tea room; P: Do you know what I think that stain on the floor is? Me: Tea? P: No Me: Erm...(I hate it when people make you guess stuff when they know you won’t be able to.) Err... Tea? P: Rat urine! Me: Eh? P: Yeah, we had rats in our house once and it looked just like that. Me: But how do they possibly get up here, when we’re on the second floor? I mean they can’t catch the lift, can they? They won’t be able to reach the buttons. P: (enigmatically) Maybe they know someone on the inside! Paul goes off to make a cup of tea and I’m left standing in the corridor. Me: Yeah, maybe they have FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES! HA HA HA! Oh! He’s gone! Hello boss! Er, yes, funny things these... these, erm... bye then! Grrr!!! Do you see? FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES! Ha ha! Er, bye Robin x __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+