hello sinister. today i was feeling restless. i managed to organise my restlessness into going for a walk round the grassy bit near my house, listening to a tape someone kindly made me, called 'ducks on a pond' / 'ships at sea'. this is a good thing to do i think cos your thoughts can wander. but i was still restless but in a different way. not really a bad way. just my thoughts would get so far and then kind of flick back, like in a loop. also i was thinking about something i read that said it's good if you can do something great/beautiful or whatever, and be glad about it, but not be any more (or less) glad than if it had been done by someone else. and i was thinking that it works the other way too: if someone else does something good, it's very hard not to be jealous, but if they do it in a way that seems like they don't care it was them who did it, it just had to be done, then you don't feel so jealous even (especially) if it is very very good. like when there's a really good band or author, it goes beyond making you jealous, you're just happy that it's there at all. the trouble was, the place i was walking is pretty small cos i was too lazy to walk to a proper park, so i was kind of going round in circles a bit. in the end i went on a swing in the playground (i wasn't trying to be twee - it was getting quite late by then so there was no-one to see me) and my tape was still playing and i could see across the hills. then i stopped thinking so much and it was better. kaytee x ps. the subject line is my mis-hearing of the boy with the arab strap. that is how you spell the drink isn't it, with a silent d? +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+