Today is a very strange day. Despite being mid-summer, the sun has failed to fire its sparkly grin upon my pale bones, resulting in a fair bit chilly me. Whatever could have happened to make the sun give up so? Surely nothing is so bad it would result in the ceasing of the sun. God created it to create life - why would God want to turn it off? Eh? Well, I know why. Gather round and let me tell you a dark and chilling short story: (This is nonsense made up from my brain and not based on anyone you know or have ever heard of, so shh.) The Fox and the Boxer ================ ch1. 1973 Little Struan M was a strange young boy. He looked like a girl, walked like a girl, talked like a girl - even when he tried to sing he sang like a girl! In fact if I hadn't just told you he was a boy, you would probably think he was a girl too. Being so girlie made life very hard for young Struan. You see, he lived in the toughest street in the whole of Troon, a vile and wretched town on the westermost coast of Scotland. Everyone Struan ever saw wore big bubble Kappa coats, and had drugs and strange angry eyes in their face. They called Struan names like "Poofter" and "Bufftie", and often punched him till it hurt. Even Struan's dad was nasty to him. "If I wanted a girl I'd have fucking stole one", he used to say whilst leathering Struan. You may think all this unpleasantness would have had a detrimental effect on our young girlie hero. Not at all! He loved it! "I'm so different from everyone, I can't fail to become a pop star", he said. And the strange thing is he genuinely believed it. ch2. 1984 Some years passed. Struan was older and taller, but still girlie. But he got lucky, cos it suddenly became really trendy to be girlie and he got all the proper lady girls! They loved him and his lovely golden locks of syrupy head hair. He had a great time. In fact, he was having such a great time with the ladies he forgot all about his pop star career. But that didn't matter, he was busy. ch3. Some more years passed. Our effeminate chum had grown weary of his uncanny pulling power and shapely hips. He decided he wanted to become a boxer of all things! A boxer! How ridiculous is that? As you may have suspected, he wasn't very good at it. He was good at taking, but not much cop at pounding others in the ring. For the 800th time he was on the canvas in a daze, blood dripping from his pert ruby lips and little cartoon foxes circling his head. To Struan's surprise, one of the foxes stopped to speak to him! "What are you up to?", said the little fox, "I thought you wanted to be a pop star!?". "Nmmughagha", said Struan. "Listen", said the fox "if you want really want to be a pop star I know a quick and easy way, but you have to really want it. Do you want it!?". "uh-huh" murmured Struan. "I said DO YOU WANT IT!??!", shouted the fox. "UH-HUH" said Struan. "SHOW ME HOW MUCH YOU WANT IT THEN!!!!" demanded the fox. "MMMMWAAAAAAAAGH!!!!", cried Struan as he lept to his feet and knocked his opponent out cold with one perfectly executed left uppercut. "I WANT IT THAT MUCH!!!!!!!". "Follow me", said the fox. The little fox led Struan out into a cold and wintry night. "If you want to make it, your going to have to make sacrifices. Kill me a virgin, smother yourself in her blood and spill your seed. Soon it will all start to happen." "OK", said Struan as his eyes turned an evil red. The year was 1996. WA HA HA HA HA HA HA (like the devil). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". . For unsubscribing, list rules, Tigermilk and sessions tapes, . please see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister@majordomo.net . *** B&S new LP worldwide release 7th September, tour news etc. at *** . *** http://www.majordomo.net/sinister/news.html *** . Coinini athasach ata muid - ag canuint amhrain na . coinini - nach bhfuilimid? -----------------------------------------------------------------------