Hmmm. That title won't work for people who get the digest. And I don't doubt literarily squillions of people have used it before. However, I'm but a poor wikkle list-noobie who overuses the word "wuv", so don't throw too many sharp objects at me, mmkay? Could the tautology be "Queen's own army" from Me and the Major? That's pretty much exactly the same as "Queen's army". I suspect not, as otherwise all ye smartnessbunnies would have picked up on it. But anyways. That was actually the main reason I broke I broke my list lurkerdom, so I'm going to have to babble some more here so that this post doesn't look all titchy and pathetic and get beaten up by big long posts about linguistics and Wittgenstein. I'm tempted not to introduce myself, so you can all think I'm some mysterious and impeccably cool man-with-no-name-type figure. However, I've just horrendously burnt the pizza I was meant to be cooking, which seems a terribly bad omen. So I'll tell you all about me, so that when I'm kidnapped by the bad pizza demons, you can all get togethor with some Powerpuff Girls' fans and form the Superhero team "Sinister Dexter" to rescue. Sorry. Sorry. Please, please forgive me. That was truly unspeakably bad. I think go I'll die in a hole now. Bleh. Soooo, moving on from such appaling comic-pun shenanigans, me! Yeah! Right. Well, I'm 16 years old, and 17 this coming Friday. I'm waiting for my GCSEs with roughly the same amount of desperate, gibbering terror as almost everyone else my age in the country. I just burnt an ungarnished cheese and tomato pizza really, really badly. It asked for twelve minutes, and I gave it, like, 35. I look somewhat like a younger version of the mid-period Elvis with my current haircut, though perversely very little like the young Elvis. My eyes are blue, green or brown depending on my mood. No, really. Yes, like in some anime. Except my hair doesn't change colour too. Which is a pity. I own a considerable number of tarot decks, from which I can do reading with varying amounts of skill. My undoubted fave is a deck from UK teenybopper magazine Just-17, which intrigues and terrifies me in equal measure. One of the cards is called "The Steps CD". This may or may not equate to the ten of swords - "ruin". What else? I live in London. I played the horrendously addictive internet game sissyfight (www.sissyfight.com), in which you represent a bitchy four-year-old, and have to humiliate other bitchy four-year-olds by scratching them and teasing them and licking lollipops to rise up the rankings, for about four months solid once, and nearly got suspended from my none-more-posh school for falling asleep all the time after playing all night, every night. They kept giving me urine tests for drugs, and looking baffled when I passed. That's not particually relevant to anything, really. I'm about a 7, tweeness-wise, though that's my own biased view and not be trusted. I've missed the last four track-and-fields, the last seven nights at Trash and I'm going to have to miss the Sinister picnic... various complicated real-lifey stuff. Glurk. I should stop this relentless tirade of vanity now, for this pizza is getting cold and thus even less appetizing, and my mother has a habit of going into my room and throwing away random things as punishment if she comes back from work to find uneaten food. It's a vestige from a best-forgotten anorexic manicsboy phase a few years ago. I fucking hate the Manics. Finally - some questions for you happy Sinister ministrels to answer: 1) Whatever happened to "fluffy candarel"? 2) Did anyone else always think the narrator of 'Belle lettres' was female? 3) How GRATE is Infinite Jest? And that's a wrap, popkids. Mourn Sunset Beach well. I flee now. -v-v-v-v- Greg "Mmm... good taco" - Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+