the sky was grey and overcast today, and it was all drizzly. i was wondering what i was going to do, try to plan the day ahead; try and milk what little things i would be doing as much as i could, as what i usually do in my holidays. i looked outside the window of the sitting room, just past the garden and onto the sloping banks, where i noticed two blackbirds sitting. they were sitting facing each other, about ten yards away. they didn’t seem to be moving, and i couldn’t hear if they were making any noises to each other. wild birds are generally quite competitive, no matter their sex, and i thought it was a little odd for them to be sitting, staring. i’m not an expert on birds, but their colours varied slightly, and i know that they were of opposite sex. maybe i shouldn’t think so romantically, but i can’t help thinking that they were beginning to like each other. Two wee birds, snuggling in their nest is such a gorgeous thought. maybe they don’t get married, but they could have their own little honeymoon. it could be a romantic cruise across the world and a backpacking trip across europe, except it would be flying. they would have their honeymoon period of unparalleled love, but they would have the foundation building of having to live and defend for themselves, which would possibly make their love as good as any being’s.. since i’m only sixteen, i haven’t really discovered true love. but i think that it would be just an expanded or elaborated version of any other love; the tingling of liking someone so very much, and the doublefuzziness of them liking you back, the security that you could probably spend the rest of your days with them happily, and settle down and eventually have your own wee backpacking-birdie flight thing. but even the birds’ love could be shattered; there’s always competition. there always seems to be a better bird than yourself, and then there’s always accidents. the birds’ true love could easily be smothered by heartbreak when they are as happy and ecstatic as they would ever be, which would make the pain even more colossal. it’s hard enough when the aching is not related to true love. i wonder if birds ever fear the day when their love would be broken. i guess it does not happen to everybody. some people would be happy until they die, and arguably past their death. i wish that would happen to everybody, but in having to admit there’s no such perfect world, i am happy that some people would find their true love, be happy for the rest of their lives and never be broken, even if that wouldn’t be the case for me. i used to wonder if birds, and other animals found true love. i used to wonder (sometimes i still do) if it exists. but it must do, because there are so many lovely people, and so many people happy. there’s so much poo in our existence too, which can’t be ignored, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. johnjohn x _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+