Hello, I had a strange dream last night. How many posts have started like that? It didn't start off strange at all, quite mundane really, with me sitting watching the news on TV and wondering "why do we hear nothing about the Irish army?" Then the next programme came on and it was something like Equinox or Horizon, except that it was called Euroscience or some such. Cue pictures of a research station just outside Dublin and a white coated balding individual is interviewed. He tells us about a new program to *gasp* .....clone soldiers. He then shows us numerous identical troopers in khaki, all encased in Bubble Wrap and ready to be despatched to their bases and outposts. The camera pans round and we see that every one has the face of....Ronan Keating! The techy guy then takes us down the corridor, turning round and addressing the camera as he walks, explaining how the early experiments went wrong. He opens the door to a smallish room, more of a broom cupboard really, in which are stored some of the early cloning attempts. All are hideous, all look like the other members of Boyzone. Then I woke up, trembling. The meaning of this dream is not difficult to discern. No butlers, bakers or fat & skinny cows here I feel. The answer can be found in my current workplace, where I have to pack literally HUNDREDS of Ronan CDs. I look at the box. Ronan is frowning. I flip the box over, ready to pack it. Ronan grins at me. Ugh. Maybe there's a fold-out inside the box with a plethora of facial expressions. Ronan grimaces as if having a tooth pulled. Ronan raises one eyebrow quizzically. Ronan gawks at us, cross-eyed, thumbing his nose in a puerile manner. There are some FYHCYWLAP CDs on the shelf, but no-one's ordered any yet. Boo hoo! Maybe I should try to influence people's musical taste and do the odd substitution or two. The can't sack me- ha! I'm a temp. Consolation is at hand in the form of my Silly Customer Name List, growing day by day. I had a Peter Guess today. Life must be hell for him. Imagine the scene: the said Pete is at school and is caught running down the corridor. "What's your name boy?" asks a master sternly. "Guess, sir." "Boy I am in no mood to play silly games!' Calling Mrs Startup of Hounslow....why do you require *two* Ronan CDs? That's just plain greedy. I'd like to start a Terrible Assonances in Songs thread. Radio 1 gave us an example this morning.... "Remember the old days, remember the O'Jays'" warbled Kylie in 'Step Back in Time'. Groan. Possibly the worst ever is "pneumonia" and "phone yer" in 'I'll Never fall in love Again". Double groan. Maybe someone will order FYHCYWLAP this afternoon. Watch me kiss the invoice. We can but hope.... Mark. ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+