hello folks, read this earlier:

PIXIDUST ain't she been stirring up some insurrections? i'm not complaining, i love it! but then she disappears. Is she an NME mole, sent in to destroy the fragile network of harmonious discontent? or did they underestimate our powers?

ha! how i wish i did have a job at the NME. but i wouldn't be their mole, i'd be yours. working night and day to bring steven wells to his knees, and enlighten all 'the kids' with wondrous tales of B&S dreams and picnics and cardies and midnight biscuit-dunking. however, with my limited vocabulary - um, what's an insurrection? - i fear i will never crack into journalism, with the possible exception of mad ranting letters that will only get printed so that the editor can rubbish them....sigh. nevermind, i'll get them all with my novel the reason i disappeared is utterly mundane, but soul-destroying at the same time. i'm working all summer to get some money together for uni you see. i have a full time job at the local council canteen. my boss is insane and intolerable. he shouts at me and i cry. i work 5, sometimes 6, days a week, including saturdays. i stand all day. i get abused by mean customers all day. i slice and butter 200 bread rolls EVERY morning. i get burnt by steam, hot water and sparking fat. the heat in the kitchen is so unbearable at times that i think i might faint. i have been working for 7 weeks now, and in that time i have lost half a stone. i was underweight before, but now it's just ridiculous and i feel really rundown and tired all the time because of it. this hasn't exactly helped my mental health either. i haven't seen my boyfriend for 9 weeks. i'm living at home again with my parents. my life is exactly the same as it was this time last year and i feel like i've regressed totally, gone nowhere, done nothing. it's so demoralising. i've lost all my confidence and become very stressed and unable to cope. i used to take anti-depressants, but i was really pleased when i sorted myself out enough to come off them. now i just feel hopeless again, like i need to go back on medication. it's really awful. so, you see, i've not really had the energy or the mental capability to write interesting posts, as this one testifies (sorry if you're bored). i'm just lost in a monotonous drone of getting up, going to work, coming home, eating, watching tv, sleeping. it's all i've done for about a month now. UNTIL LAST SATURDAY NIGHT THAT IS !!!!!!!!! 12th august is a big day round these parts. all the farmers get together to show off their cows and sheep and give eachother prizes for the meanest looking bull, or the fluffiest lamb or whatever. other farmers come from all over scotland to marvel at the wondrous cattle. there are even dancing tractors - has to be seen to be believed- and when the prize-giving is finished, usually by noon cos all the farmers have been up since 5am, everybody retires to the beer tent to start drinking. the drinking continues for about 12 hours, before everyone staggers to a different tent to drunkenly attempt a dance. hahaha. this dance is the high-point of the Orkney social calendar. EVERYBODY, and i really mean that, cos there aren't that many people here, goes to this dance to get wasted and fight with other farmers. it is mind-boggling and sickening at the same time. but this year me and my friends boycotted. we went to the beach and had a party there. we took magic mushrooms and tripped out on the sand, next to the seas, by a great roaring fire. i had a mad mad trip, remembering all these things from my childhood, stuff totally buried in my brain. it was really weird. my brain was going so fast. so now i feel better for having broken the monotony. and this post is really really long. love karen xxxxx p.s. - it's pixidustlady, not just pixidust. ta p.p.s. - congrats to amy jackson for your exam results, well done that girl!! +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+