hello all, where do I begin? well, right now I'm supposed to be seeing my lecturer for some advice, and hopefully help. But shes busy, so I might go and see her later. I sat on the bus today. I felt on the verge of tears. I do sometimes when I'm alone with a problem to solve, and not the sort of problems you get from text books. But I looked out the window and tried to put it out of my head. I could alomst still hear him shouting. Him, my flat"mate". Him, the bastard. I spent the night at a friends place. It wasn't ideal, it wasn't what I had planned. This is my last week of classes, and I have some translations and an essay due in, plus my exams start next week. I tried to get on with some work, and I did, actually, I got quite a bit done. Not all of it, but a bit. My dad called me, my boyfriend called me, and my best friend called me. She said she'd tried to call my house, but they told her I was an ex tennant and had gone for good. She was going to have a go at them, shes like that, a lovely person, but shes great when it comes to the snarling bit and putting people in their place. My other friend let me stay at hers after I called her last night. I'd been sitting on my porch, which goes into my room. My bedroom door was locked, I didn;'t want anyone near me. Least of all him. I called her, cried down the phone. I think I looked a mess, mascara all over the place. I really ought to invest in something waterproof. She came over and helped me pack a few things. We sat on my bed, chatting for a bit, sharing my last cigarette. Lots of hugs. I needed hugs. My dad called, and wanted to know what had happened. I'd only spoken to my mum and brother before that, he wasn't home from work yet, you see. I'd been sitting on the porch since the people came to view it. They saw me afterwards, but politely ignored my sniffles and tears. Maybe you would too. They came to view the house after it all happened. Almost as exactly as they had knocked on the door, to be exact. Great timing. My flatmate lost his temper last night. He threw something at me. He said I was abnormal human, I was a freak. It all happened that morning. I was just leaving, and he said they had people viewing at four o clock, to leave my door unlocked to my room, so they could show them around. I said I'd be back by then, locked my door anyway. I've lost my cash card and specs you see, and I didn't want anything else to get up and walk. And besides which, my room was a mess. Nobody goes into my room unless I let them, and its tidy. I wasn't back. university things to do. Things to sort out. You know how it is, maybe? So he screamed at me. I told him he should have given me more warning. He'd had all weekend. He said I was pracing about, in my room. I was in my room, but I told him I wanted to get my degree, if he hadn't noticed, but it was the end of term. I told him I wasn't answering to him, I wasn't there to do that. He called me a freak, saying I spent all my time in my room. I do, but thats my progative, don't you agree? Then he picked up something, and threw it at me. It missed, hit the door. The other flatmate, for all he won't get involved, let it happen. Didn't say a thing, lift a finger. I was fuming, but the minute I left and went into my bedroom, I felt afraid. When I went to my friends place, I was angry. I wanted to go back and slash his precious bike tyres. He loves that bike. Keeps it in the living room (despite the fact that we have a shed) and washes it in the bath. Other folk take rubber ducks, maybe a sailing boat in the bath, he takes his bike. I was so angry. My dad called him, and threatened to call the police if Andrew so much as laid a finger on me. Andrews response was it was empty threats. My dad told him just to try and see. He told him that its not right for a twenty year old man to start throwing his weight around like that, behaving like an animal, like a spoilt brat. Andrew didn't see why I was scared or upset. My dad told Andrew to try it in my shoes. Andrews nearly twice my weight, and a good foot taller than me. He told him to call and appologise. He told him to leave me in peace, to let me get on with my life as I wanted to, to ignore me. As my wise friend said, he was sharing a house, not renting a friend. As I said to her, he couldn't pay me enough to rent me as a friend. So what do I do today? well, I might go and see about alternative accomodation. There must be something they can do on campus for me. But my dad would prefer if I tried and stuck it out. I might call the letting agency and let them know that hes agressive and intimidating. But what will they do? his word against mine. And I'm sure my other flatmate will happily take his side. What I wanted most was to speak to someone. and shes busy. what I want is to sort out this situation I am in. Maybe I could pretend I was in the circus, throw daggers at the bastard. I dunno. Also, going to buy tigermilk for my friend who helped me out. as a thankyou. ===== http://www.geocities.com/idleberry __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+