Well folks, we've been conned. You see, when I heard about the Glasgow gig, I sent my spies to work (I bet you didn't know I had a secret ring of spies working for me, did you? Come to think of it, neither did I until I wrote this, but never mind). It turns out that it wasn't the actual band onstage, they're still holed up in New York working on their secret project. You see, their secret project involves human cloning. It turns out that B&S has just been a front all these years to raise money for Wee Chris' sinister scheme. They first attempted to clone Stuart David, who was so disgusted that he quit the band. Unfortunately, it all went horribly wrong, and produced the bundle of filth which we all know as Peacock Johnston. But they persevered, and have now finished their first attempt at a completely cloned band; it was these who were being tested at Glasgow Uni the other day. It sounds like they've got them pretty lifelike, but the tell-tale signs are there if you know where to look: Stuart M being reported as 'rocking out'; the band making it through the entire gig without any instruments breaking; and the final dead give-away, the so-called band claiming that they're going to release Loneliness of the Middle Distance Runner, when we all know that it has been confirmed for a release date of five days after the apocalypse. Unfortunately, their scheme is doomed to failure, because Radiohead have been cloning bands to look and sound exactly like themselves for years. Meanwhile, Lucy asked:

And did Isobel have a big pair of maracas?

and we all look forward to seeing a picture of Isobel's maracas on the bodyparts page. TV Comedian Greg Hemphill. I'm sorry, but WHO????? What the hell TV programs has he been on??????? Don't worry Stuart, you can be rector of this university, we'll create the post especially for you... Every time we hear from them, I picture in my mind the Sillustrators locked in a smoky basement, slaving over their drawings, with the only light coming from a candle each and a small window near the ceiling, and all they can see out of it is a wood with foxes roaming around it, while Princess Honey stands over them in her black leather catsuit whipping them if they're not trying hard enough. We also look forward to a picture of Princess Honey in a black leather catsuit on the bodyparts page. Big Stu In Dorset? +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+