HELLO SINISTER! First off, I'd like to say crap, hell, doody, boob on a shingle. No reason. Secondly, I'd like to do a little REPORTING BACK on the events of the SIMIster picnic here in the lovely city of Simi Valley CA on Saturday. Just a little background, Simi Valley is neslted lovingly in some mountains about, oh, 40 miles north of Los Angeles, and is the home of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. The simplest way to describe this town where I was raised (and grudgingly returned to live) is crap hell doody boob on a shingle. What a great place for a picnic, though! Those in attendance were myself and Mr.Ben Apps. We started out in the morning like we do every morning with poor Ben trying to drag my comatose ass out of bed. "get up and make the goddamned sandwiches!" he shouted as he whacked me on the backside. Not really, but that would be funny. We packed up Ben's rucksack with a bed sheet and the aforementioned sandwiches, as well as a container of very fruity sangria and other random foodstuffs that make a summer picnic swell (i.e. potato chips and melon). I think it would have been cooler (as in totally tubular dude, not temperature-wise) if we packed our food in a red polka-dotted bandana tied up on a stick for a handle to sling over one shoulder. But instead, we wore some hats as it was the fashion of the time, and Ben's was actually the one he bought in Brighton a few months back when Mark Casarotto fell in the sea. (dude, that hat is SOOOOOO February 2002!) I wore a hat that Ben got from his bro, Mr. Will Haigh. Which actually didn't match my outfit at all, but considering I was wearing a pink sun dress over blue jeans and that my hair is bright aqua, the hat is the least of my fashion faux pas, ya know! :) A SIMIster picnic just wouldn't be a picnic without walking. YES walking. You see, in Simi Valley, you only walk if A. you are not old enough to drive, or B. you have a DUI and will have your hiney thrown in jail if you're caught driving. Usually it's the latter. But walking is a necessity when venturing out for a picnic because if you are like me, it probably means that you'll drive a mile for fried foods at any given moment. This is a perfect opportunity to cut down on your parklife, mate. ahem. Ben whistled Storytelling nearly the whole way there and I couldn't remember the lyrics so I just kept saying "crap hell doody boob on a shingle" to the tune over and over again in my head. Not really, but I should have. I just hummed along. I have to say that I think that Storytelling is really good. Now, I definitely wouldn't say it's my favorite B&S album, but I enjoy it immensely and it's so lovely to listen to on a hot and lazy summer afternoon, lounging on your bed in front of a fan while someone (such as your fianc�) does the washing up. Scooby Driver is my favorite, I think. And like my favorite song on TWATTYBUS, Simple Things, it's also so short it could have been an accident. What gives? Back to THE PICNIC!!! After walking a mile and a half, we arrived at the grounds of the municipal park called Rancho. There was a nice shady tree under which we spread out the sheet and broke out the booze. We were positioned nicely away from the crowds of families and yet still had a good view of the man-made pond and the glorious view of little children being chased by/chasing the ducks and people sitting around pretending to be fishing, as if you could catch anything (besides dysentery) in that murky green water. A father urged his daughter to throw things at an ugly goose. How very SIMI VALLEY of him! That's probably why the majority of children who walked by our blanket tugged at their parents' sleeves and gave us dirty looks. "Dad that goose had blue hair, can we throw shit at her too?" No honey, that goose can press charges. It's funny cos when I was in high school this was just the reaction I wanted, but now I just can't be bothered. So I went back to snogging Ben Apps who is cuter than Stuart Murdoch, and hotter than Simi Valley asphalt on a summer day. Ken Chu said that Ben Apps looks like Stuart Murdoch, which is funny since Ken Chu looks so much like Chris "Beans" Geddes, and my fanny looks so much like Isobel's. Actually, I think if you combined Ben and James the Dancing Hatchback, the result would be pretty close to Stuart Murdoch. And if the two ever wanted to embark on such a project, I'd love to watch! (ohmygod that's DIRTY! Crap hell doody boob on a shingle!) The picnic ended with a nice walk around the duck pond and a thought that we should have brought a guitar or a football. But we had to get back home anyway so we headed that way, and I got really sunburned on my shoulders and back. Next, we got our swimming attire. Then we headed over to my friend Tina's POOL PARTY in Van Nuys that was less sinister and more like 5 girls in bikinis, me in my old lady bathing suit, and Ben thrown in for good measure. I didn't wear a bikini cos my "I heart poo" tattoo on my gigantic Isobel ass might show, and you can imagine how fucking cool that would be! Ohmygod, I cursed! Crap hell doody boob on a shingle! Hugs and summer lovin' to you all! love, Rachel fruitloop P.S. For those Californians out there who are interested, BAppsy and I are trying to devise plans for L.A. and San Fran Sinister picnics sometime in the next month! You game? __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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