[explosive report] The official report of the Toronto Sinister Meet Up was released today having not received any objection to the official version of events. They can be found here: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/sinibear/cajun.html [even bigger explosive report] The translations bureau of the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son today released more documents from the stolen diary pages of Maurice Bear. Officials also announced that recently the firm had purchased the long lost famous masterpiece painting by the deceased Claude von Bear, Maurice Bear - Aristocrat in Exile. The purchase was made on e-Bay for an undisclosed amount but insiders say it was around £14 million. A company spokesperson indicated that the firm expected to recover the cost by issuing a limited edition print with the edition limited to 25 million with each one hand numbered and signed by the artist. Currently the painting is on display here: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/sinibear/maurice.html "Les Mémoires et les Pensées de Maurice Bear" --- In this explosive edition we see the great Maurice Bear recall his winter as a trapper wandering the frozen tundra with empty traps and only frozen berries and his deep thoughts maintaining his will to survive life in the desolation. And much, much more. (translations from the French courtesy of the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son.) Maurice Bear - aristocrat in exile. Living in Texas where everything really is bigger. Without oil wells or cattle herds he is excluded from the societies of the elite. Deeply in love, he sets his thoughts to paper. We stole them. There she goes again, Mademoiselle la petite Jamais. No longer is she Never, she really is my little dove. I have grown fond of my nightly sponge baths. She tickles me with the bubbles and we laugh and we laugh and we laugh. We lounge around and languish in our love in front of a fireplace and listen to the hail hitting against the window. I tell her about my winter on the tundra. I recall my winter as a trapper wandering the frozen tundra with empty traps and only frozen berries and my deep thoughts maintaining my will to survive life in the desolation. Every day I would check the traps and they would be empty. I was stuck in a miserable cabin with no light and no rabbits. Only the fire in the barrel stove. Again she has used those hand cuffs. This time she left still chained to the bed when she left. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Does she not know about the time when there was no rabbits and my bottom got frozen with a trap stuck to my fur and I had to wait four days for it to thaw off? I was dragging the chain in my deep thoughts for many weeks in the howling desolation. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. She is afraid, my petite-Jamais. My public wants me, and she is afraid, my petite-Jamais. She fears that I will run away with one of those adoring fans. Does she not know that I lover her so, my little dove? Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Maybe I should run away. This land called Sinister Village sounds like a very posh queendom. It must be because their Queen Mother is Miss Honey, and their Queen is Velocity Farewell. Ah, such a lovely name. Perhaps it is French? She conjures in my mind images of red jacket riding outfits and tan shapely breeches. I will languish by the fireside with this Queen and tell her my tales about my winter on the tundra when I was left with only my deep thoughts and frozen berries to maintain my will to live. Oh the pain, the pain. I cannot leave you my petite-jamais. My heart belongs to you. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Here she comes again. She is naked. I see her coming to me. Yes my little dove. Alas, she is coming for my sponge bath. We shall laugh and laugh and laugh. "Take me! You make me mad woman! Let me dive upon you and rub my furry body all over your pearly nakedness! Chain me to your bed! Chain me to your heart!" Yes my little dove, yes. (c) 2000 Maurice Bear - Les Mémoires et les Pensées de Maurice Bear [business affairs] An announcement sent the markets into a flurry of activity that has finally settled down with all markets showing gains. Rabbit Brand (tm), a subsidiary of Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son, the rabbit supply service announced today that it is contracting with Lixi's Pimping Woodland Mammals to have supplied 20,000 rabbits for use in their lavatory division. This is expected to create some new jobs in Sinister Village in the commercial laundry and dry cleaning sector as well as the landscaping business.. Rabbit Brand (tm) has opened up its new marketing campaign to try and corner the rabbit supply market. Promoting as being more environmentally friendly, Rabbit Brand (tm) is trying to convince humans what bears have known for years. Paper kills trees, trees give oxygen and bears like to climb trees. Rabbits live a long time, mow lawns and trim shrubbery, as well as weeding gardens, and they are also more absorbent than paper and wash out clean very easily because shit doesn't stick to their fur. A company spokesman said, "After all, there are a lot of bottoms out there." Alexander +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+