sinister right now it is 23.59, 14/12/2001 and i am sitting in front of my comp (this will hopefully get sent 2mo as i am offline- will paste into hotmail) listening to the offspring, ixnay on the hombre will come on any minute (recorded on the same md) hmm i need more music to wallow in and ive been thinking today when i was at work eagle eye cherry 'save tonite' came on and that me sad it made me think of my b/f and the beginning and when he first left and how things are just a big mess now i know what i want with him and from him and although now i think he realises better what it is that will make us a work i fear its too late too late and i am just desperatly grasping at any stray threads that i can see but i think theyre just coming loose in my hand and getting lost like threads do the other nite before i went to sleep i had the most horrid vivid scary pictures in front of my eyes in one of them i shot myself in the head and i contemplated everything that would be affected if i did kill myself and that scared me :( and i also keep thinking how shite things are now things in general but i knew this would be a bad year coz 2000 was good but 1999 was awful (i feel like i did in '99) but this is a bad year to be bad because this is the year when everything happens i sit my final exams i leave school i go onto something else i turn 18 i stand in court against my dad for their divorce we probably will have to move to another house coz this one costs too much mortgage and stuff coz my dads a liar but i like this house i love my room this year is an end and a beginning one of no doubt many but this is my first real one and im awful scared about it all on the bright side 2000 brought me friends real friends and i still have them sorry about this post i hope i hope ive not pissed anybody off with it thats all xox icq #42242252 msn messanger something_sinister@hotmail.com *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If I wasn't psychotic I would never have found my true self. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+