I think that is what you said? At least I think you said something like it. Listening to other peoples songs, imagining them to belong to them, placing meaning where the writer neglected to place meaning, giving the words of the life of their own. Until eventually the song is truly owned by the spectator. Or maybe you just meant my life? When you are quiet, when you are shy, life becomes a play put on by other people. Something you could imagine being part of but never quite knowing how. I am certainly the viewer rather than the participant the majority of the time. Or maybe you were just talking about how being a spectator could make you feel happy. Like the time, quite recently, I found myself sitting in a B&B getting excited because I can see a man knocking on the door outside a house and a man inside the house walking to answer it. At that moment neither of them could see each other. I was privelleged. I could see both sides of the door. In the fading light of the room I was in I sat and watched the silent view in front of me. I proceeded to give a commentary, explaining the biscuits, the cups of tea, the man who refuses the sit still for more than 2 minutes, to the girl sitting with me. I suspect she would rather have been sleeping. But I liked being a casual onlooker and I wanted to share that with her. Being a spectator, I think standing at the front of a gig is better than standing further away. It does make you feel a little bit silly and self conscious sometimes, but being able to hear a band speak to each other when they aren't using microphones and being able to watch is going on a the side of the stage, and to be able to look back and see almost the same view as the band, makes it better. Accidentally sitting on the same ferry as a band is good too. Watching people, who write the songs that have sort of become my own, do normal things, made me happy. At the same time it could have made me a little sad. Feeling guilty that was too much of an intrusion, knowing that songs don't really belong to me. A reality check. But if you are a skilful in the art of spectating you can drift swiftly from harsh realities, settle back and begin to watch life once more. Happy and content within a world where everybody else is also interpreting other people's lives through their own eyes. No reason to feel guilty. Well, Take Care, Rachel _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+